Hi everyone,
I've been reading a lot from these boards and am really touched by how much support you give each other. I just wanted to say hello and tell you a bit about my situation which seems to have become suddenly very stressful.
I'm 38 and full time carer to my grandma who is 96 and lives with us. We don't yet have a formal diagnosis of AD but her CPN feels this is the most likely problem. He said he didn't think it was worth doing a formal assessment due to her age and frailty. I don't know if this is common or good practice or if we are disadvantaged by this. Grandma was living alone about 100 miles away from me until about 6 months ago. She has always been very independent and refused any intervention but following a stroke, she could no longer manage and came to live with me.
She has recovered well from the stroke but mentally I feel she is declining. The main issues at present are anxiety about being left alone, obsessive attempts to recall words and attachment to a white board where we write the forgotten words, anxiety about the whereabouts of all members of the family, tearfulness, throwing/smearing food and saying things that aren't true to visitors (for example, that I had left her alone for 10 hours without a drink).
Physically she is similar to before her stroke. She can walk with a Zimmer frame with assistance, can feed herself, etc. She needs help to get in and out of bed, transfers to toilet, needs food cutting up, thickened fluids. She is now incontinent which is new.
We have recently been assessed by Social Services and now have a morning call for washing and dressing in the week and a sitting service for 3 hours once a week. She goes to a day centre for 4 hours once a week, although she is generally reluctant.
We are trying to arrange some respite care but she is so far refusing to go anywhere. I had one weekend away when we had 24 hour carers but it cost me £600 to go.
I am feeling very close to snapping. I have 3 children (9,7,3) and am separated from their father, with whom I have a generally difficult relationship. I have a partner but he is very resentful of the burden placed on us by grandma. He tries to argue with her when she says things that aren't true and gets more and more angry when she won't accept what he says. I feel stuck in the middle of them. I often feel like I want to run away. I was meant to be returning to work as my youngest child starts school in September but I can't now that I have grandma. I have no family support really; I have no siblings and my parents are divorced and this is my dad's mum. He lives 100 miles away and I think is just glad to have her off his hands. We are also trying to move house to somewhere more suitable for grandma, which in itself is pretty stressful.
I don't know if anyone can help but it's helpful just to write it all down.
Thanks for reading.
I've been reading a lot from these boards and am really touched by how much support you give each other. I just wanted to say hello and tell you a bit about my situation which seems to have become suddenly very stressful.
I'm 38 and full time carer to my grandma who is 96 and lives with us. We don't yet have a formal diagnosis of AD but her CPN feels this is the most likely problem. He said he didn't think it was worth doing a formal assessment due to her age and frailty. I don't know if this is common or good practice or if we are disadvantaged by this. Grandma was living alone about 100 miles away from me until about 6 months ago. She has always been very independent and refused any intervention but following a stroke, she could no longer manage and came to live with me.
She has recovered well from the stroke but mentally I feel she is declining. The main issues at present are anxiety about being left alone, obsessive attempts to recall words and attachment to a white board where we write the forgotten words, anxiety about the whereabouts of all members of the family, tearfulness, throwing/smearing food and saying things that aren't true to visitors (for example, that I had left her alone for 10 hours without a drink).
Physically she is similar to before her stroke. She can walk with a Zimmer frame with assistance, can feed herself, etc. She needs help to get in and out of bed, transfers to toilet, needs food cutting up, thickened fluids. She is now incontinent which is new.
We have recently been assessed by Social Services and now have a morning call for washing and dressing in the week and a sitting service for 3 hours once a week. She goes to a day centre for 4 hours once a week, although she is generally reluctant.
We are trying to arrange some respite care but she is so far refusing to go anywhere. I had one weekend away when we had 24 hour carers but it cost me £600 to go.
I am feeling very close to snapping. I have 3 children (9,7,3) and am separated from their father, with whom I have a generally difficult relationship. I have a partner but he is very resentful of the burden placed on us by grandma. He tries to argue with her when she says things that aren't true and gets more and more angry when she won't accept what he says. I feel stuck in the middle of them. I often feel like I want to run away. I was meant to be returning to work as my youngest child starts school in September but I can't now that I have grandma. I have no family support really; I have no siblings and my parents are divorced and this is my dad's mum. He lives 100 miles away and I think is just glad to have her off his hands. We are also trying to move house to somewhere more suitable for grandma, which in itself is pretty stressful.
I don't know if anyone can help but it's helpful just to write it all down.
Thanks for reading.
It does seem a little unfair that you are the one dealing with everything but sadly not uncommon. Please get as much help as you can so you can have a break and if it really is getting too much a care home might be the only option.
