welcome to tp, Motherlily....I am relatively new too. I have read the responses you have had and it has helped me also . That is the wonderful thing about talking points...it is helpful to see the responses others receive. Please remember there are so many of us out there and this is such a good way to connect with those feelings. All sorts of emotions are with me, either by themselves or alone ie living with someone that is not the person he once was, never knowing the response you can get at any time, loss of hygiene, peeing wherever, mixing foods in the refrigerator, swearing, loss of affection, inability to make new friends, such sadness looking in his face and seeing his confusion, wishing it would just go away, knowing I am doing my best but feel that is not good enough. And, oh yes, other than family and close friends, the absence of visits like you would get if the patient had some surgery or other illness. Obviously, they are uncomfortable and don't know what to say. We have always been such social people, but how can you go out for dinner when he will remove his dentures at the table and lick them off. None of these are monumental but they cause daily stress. Stress is something you need to guard against as it can affect your health. I would suggest using daycare a couple of afternoons a week...do not wait too long. My husband resisted at first but now looks forward to it. It is good for him to be away from me as well. I hate myself when I get cross...try to remember that we are humans and fall short sometimes but God forgives us. You sound like a very caring person and I am sure you will get the strength to be a wonderful caregiver....no one knows better than us how much is demanded of us, but we'll do it. Just keep in touch with all of us as we are always here.....