Hello Everyone,
My neighbour is in her 80's, we have lived next door to her for 8 years, she is a retired doctor, never married or had children and has been highly intelligent and fiercely independent all her life. Her nearest relations are second cousins who live nearly two hours drive away and have some health concerns of their own. I have been very worried about my neighbour's memory recently and have tried to talk to her about it but she becomes quite cross and changes the subject. This week her cousins visited and I hped to speak to them but I couldn't find a reason to speak to them alone, today I received a call from them asking if I was aware that my neighbour had been diagnosed with Dementia. I was actually hugely relieved to get this call because I was very worried but didn't know what to do, not being a family member. My neighbour's cousins only discovered the news yesterday as the GP had visited while they were there, my neighbour denies there is a problem.
I have offered to do whatever I can to help but my neighbour is refusing help from everyone. I think she is angry and embarrassed and I can understand completely why she should feel like this. However, I am concerned she is not eating (my family are vegetarian and she refuses any food I have offered saying she doesn't like vegetables). I have offered to either take her to appointments or at least make sure she is in a taxi to get her there (I have 4 children and a husband who works away from home a lot) but she refuses to tell me she has any appointments when I know from her cousins that this is not the case.
I know that it is hugely important to her that she stays in her own home and maintains her independence for as long as possible and I will do my absolute best to help her maintain this.
Should I confront her directly and tell her that I know she has dementia? How bossy should I be in terms of checking her cupboards to make sure she has eaten?
I have no experience of dementia at all, I want to do the right thing but I haven't a clue. Any advice would be really appreciated.
Thank you
My neighbour is in her 80's, we have lived next door to her for 8 years, she is a retired doctor, never married or had children and has been highly intelligent and fiercely independent all her life. Her nearest relations are second cousins who live nearly two hours drive away and have some health concerns of their own. I have been very worried about my neighbour's memory recently and have tried to talk to her about it but she becomes quite cross and changes the subject. This week her cousins visited and I hped to speak to them but I couldn't find a reason to speak to them alone, today I received a call from them asking if I was aware that my neighbour had been diagnosed with Dementia. I was actually hugely relieved to get this call because I was very worried but didn't know what to do, not being a family member. My neighbour's cousins only discovered the news yesterday as the GP had visited while they were there, my neighbour denies there is a problem.
I have offered to do whatever I can to help but my neighbour is refusing help from everyone. I think she is angry and embarrassed and I can understand completely why she should feel like this. However, I am concerned she is not eating (my family are vegetarian and she refuses any food I have offered saying she doesn't like vegetables). I have offered to either take her to appointments or at least make sure she is in a taxi to get her there (I have 4 children and a husband who works away from home a lot) but she refuses to tell me she has any appointments when I know from her cousins that this is not the case.
I know that it is hugely important to her that she stays in her own home and maintains her independence for as long as possible and I will do my absolute best to help her maintain this.
Should I confront her directly and tell her that I know she has dementia? How bossy should I be in terms of checking her cupboards to make sure she has eaten?
I have no experience of dementia at all, I want to do the right thing but I haven't a clue. Any advice would be really appreciated.
Thank you