My elderly neighbor has dementia. He’s a very sweet man. But he goes daily and gets into the neighborhood mailboxes. He takes other people’s mail. His wife says she puts it back. But she just thinks it’s hilarious that he does it. Some neighbors have complained they haven’t gotten theirs back. He also got into my husbands truck the other day and went through everything. My husband works construction so he started it to warm up as he gathered his tools for the day. The neighbor man doesn’t seem to realize where he is the majority of the time. His wife continuously leaves him home by himself. Which scares me cause he loves to walk the neighborhood and what if he takes off one day when she’s left him at home by himself? We just aren’t sure what to do or what steps to take to help fix the situation.
Neighbor getting in to people’s persona property
- Thread starter Kmarie
- Start date
Can you put a lock on your mailbox, so that your neighbour can't open it to get your mail out? Also, does your husband lock his truck whenever he leaves it?
Hi @Kmarie and welcome to Dementia Talking Point. I can understand why you and your neighbours are concerned. It sounds as though his wife doesn't quite get the serious implications of her husband's behaviour, though it may be that she is embarrassed by it all, hence laughing it off.
I guess you are not in the UK (sorry if I've assumed wrongly) so I'm not quite sure how you go about getting help for him and his wife. In the UK the thing to do would be to phone social services and say that he is a vulnerable adult who is at risk and ask them to come and do a needs assessment. If you are not in the UK are there similar service that you can call?
In the mean time I'd just keep an eye open and try and direct him elsewhere if you see him trying to open mail boxes are get into people's cars.
I guess you are not in the UK (sorry if I've assumed wrongly) so I'm not quite sure how you go about getting help for him and his wife. In the UK the thing to do would be to phone social services and say that he is a vulnerable adult who is at risk and ask them to come and do a needs assessment. If you are not in the UK are there similar service that you can call?
In the mean time I'd just keep an eye open and try and direct him elsewhere if you see him trying to open mail boxes are get into people's cars.
You are right to be concerned - he's in danger if he wanders and gets lost or falls. As this man's wife is not looking out for him, you and your neighbours need to report to adult social care. (I don't know what that's called in the US and I'm guessing that's where you're from, but I'm sure there's an equivalent.) If you can find the phone number, please share it with your neighbours and ask them to make similar reports if they see him wandering or tampering with mailboxes. Make it clear that you are concerned for his wellbeing rather than making a complaint about his wife. If they get several reports they will have to act...
You might want to get video evidence with your phone...
You might want to get video evidence with your phone...
