Negotiating Care Home Fees

[Pete R]

I think the primary problem we had with your advice @Yellowduck is that you presented this as a right for all, rather than an option that might be available in a specific LA area. That just raises false hope. By all means present the information, but don't imply that it's possible for everyone.

I agree and the post was also accompanied with incorrect information.

 

[Pete R]

This has the added advantage that if you wish, you can also rent out the property to reduce the amount building up on the DPA.

Only if the LA agree and comes with added complications of Annual Tax returns.

 

[Yellowduck]

Only if the LA agree and comes with added complications of Annual Tax returns.

I cannot see why any LA would object as it would lower their financial exposure, but I guess the odd one might (not sure why).

Completing a tax return is not particularly complicated (and I have always found HMRC very helpful with queries once you get through!), certainly no more complicated than looking after a PWD.

I am not saying it would suit everyone. Everyone is different and has differing abilities. I for one could not look after my Mum 24/7, although I am sure their are some on here who could.

It does seem strange there is such a variance in the help and advice differing LA's provide.

 

[Yellowduck]

The thing is, la Lucia is the only member I have come across who has actually been able to do this. Being told it's an option by your LA doesn't really have the same persuasive strength.

I think the primary problem we had with your advice @Yellowduck is that you presented this as a right for all, rather than an option that might be available in a specific LA area. That just raises false hope. By all means present the information, but don't imply that it's possible for everyone.

Fair enough, but if just one person has achieved this, and others (myself) have been told this, then it may help others argue for the same if they are initially told no, as opposed to perhaps just accepting it.

 

[Pete R]

I cannot see why any LA would object as it would lower their financial exposure, but I guess the odd one might (not sure why).

The LA would probably have to agree the contract that is made with the tenant as if the PWD dies they would not want to wait much more than the allowed 90 days for their money to be repaid.

 

[Yellowduck]

The LA would probably have to agree the contract that is made with the tenant as if the PWD dies they would not want to wait much more than the allowed 90 days for their money to be repaid.

Yes that may be the case. I was also told that whilst the DPA states it must be repaid within 90 days, they are normally flexible with this, and normally OK if it goes beyond 90 days, but they will charge an increased interest rate beyond 90 days.

In all honesty, depending on the market, 90 days to sell a property (or raise finance if the property is being kept) is not a realistic timescale.

Cheers

 

[Mimi5]

Thanks as always to all of you!!!!!! I just don't know how we would have survived this journey without all the help and support we have received here on TP

So I've been labeling for Britain But we are all systems go for "D day" on fri. Just hope it goes ok.........we don't have a plan b

Keep you posted.

 

[Toony Oony]

Hi Mimi5 - will be thinking of you all on Friday.

Try not to overthink it - and think positive. Use all your best acting talents! If my Mum is anything like your PWD - they may be unaware of what is happening but have a strong sense when 'something's afoot!'. Therefore, bright and breezy and matter of fact is the way to go.

Moved Mum into Respite for 2 weeks, with the option to make it permanent. Billed it as 'GP thinks it would be good for you to be pampered for a couple of weeks, to perk you up a bit. It's a bit like a hotel for older people'. She was fine the first day, hated me on the second (but gradually came round) by day3 she had no recollection of where she had been living for the last 5 years and has not mentioned it since. 6 months on, I am so glad I took the plunge. Mum has deteriorated but is really well looked after and I can spend quality time with her, without worrying about all the nuts and bolts of everyday care.

 

[love.dad.but..]

Keep a smile on your face while you are there and keep your mind filled with the reason the decision has been made is because you care and love your mum very much. Be prepared there may be hiccups but deal with things as they arise and post on TP if you have a tough day. I hope it goes as well as it can on Friday.

 

[Theresalwaystomorrow]

Fair enough, but if just one person has achieved this, and others (myself) have been told this, then it may help others argue for the same if they are initially told no, as opposed to perhaps just accepting it.

Just read this thread yellowduck and I must say I fully agree with you, too many on here seem to think we all should just accept self funding! It’s disgusting and should be fought more in my opinion!
Wonder why they don’t ?
Funding is one of the biggest issues but is always shot down and don’t like being discussed and I wonder why?

Fair enough, but if just one person has achieved this, and others (myself) have been told this, then it may help others argue for the same if they are initially told no, as opposed to perhaps just accepting it.

 

[Shedrech]

maybe you would like to start a thread on that particular topic rather than adding comments onto other threads and then others can join in such a discussion
personally if someone comes to TP and asks the members for some information on funding/paying fees I'd rather fill them in on how things are now, however/whatever I may think/feel about that, so that they are better informed and can organise care for the person they are concerned about
I prefer to help with what is often a very fraught and pressing immediate problem that can be addressed right now - I can hardly suggest they hold on until the system is sorted out
TP, after all, is a peer to peer support community
later, maybe, that member can consider the rights and wrongs and unfairness of social care funding and join in campaigning for change

here's a link to the main AS site re the campaign to Fix Dementia Care
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/info/20175/fix_dementia_care

speaking for myself, not as a host

 

[Shedrech]

hi @Mimi5
keeping fingers crossed for Friday
keep calm and smile
and have a treat ready for after, not really a reward but to have something to occupy your mind so you don't fret too much

 

[jaymor]

Shedrech is right, make sure you have something to do when you return home.

When my husband went into the assessment unit I came home ran a bath and just climbed in. Hot water, hot tears, there was lots of water about that night. Then into my old faithful terry towel bath robe and I just air dried sitting on the bed with a coffee and tears still flowing freely. I was warm and comfortable and could now endulge in my own sadness of it all. It felt good.

You will still be caring, just not alone.

Hope it all goes well.

 

[Theresalwaystomorrow]

maybe you would like to start a thread on that particular topic rather than adding comments onto other threads and then others can join in such a discussion
personally if someone comes to TP and asks the members for some information on funding/paying fees I'd rather fill them in on how things are now, however/whatever I may think/feel about that, so that they are better informed and can organise care for the person they are concerned about
I prefer to help with what is often a very fraught and pressing immediate problem that can be addressed right now - I can hardly suggest they hold on until the system is sorted out
TP, after all, is a peer to peer support community
later, maybe, that member can consider the rights and wrongs and unfairness of social care funding and join in campaigning for change

here's a link to the main AS site re the campaign to Fix Dementia Care
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/info/20175/fix_dementia_care

speaking for myself, not as a host

Thanks, brilliant reading, campaign now closed but great reading, now I am aware people have been fighting this I feel much better.
Maybe we can all remind everybody that we are still fighting on campaigning for free care, this would settle a lot of people’s minds