I know this topic has been talked about a lot, and I've looked through various threads but hope you don't mind me posting about what's happening with my dad. He's living in an excellent residential care home but his condition has deteriorated a lot - can hardly communicate any more, very poor mobility etc. He's 89. The care home manager thinks he'll be wheel chair bound very shortly, and his increasingly odd behaviour means he's needing almost constant supervision. It's so sad :-(. Yesterday he was taken to A&E for various reasons, underwent a CT scan, ECG, blood tests and more and they found nothing medically wrong. Just the dementia. They said his heart is strong and healthy (he had major heart surgery 15 years ago), and at 89 could live with this condition 'for quite some time'. It has reached the point where the care home can no longer meet his needs. The manager suggests we look for a more suitable place - a nursing home and/or dementia care specialists. I have a place in mind that I'll explore... but my question is, should we apply for CHC? Is this the right time? And where would be the best place to start? He hasn't been assessed for CHC before and is self-funding, but I'm concerned that the high costs of specialist care plus dad's potential to possibly outlive me (not a joke!) means his personal funds will run out. The move isn't urgent, the home can manage him for another 2 or 3 months, but if he keeps deteriorating at the same rate then it could be sooner. On a slightly different note, and this will probably sound selfish and whiny but I'm sure I can't be the only one... I'm SO tired. Weary. Managing dad's life is stealing a lot of well-being from my own life. I can't turn away from him though because the bonds are too strong, but this has been going on for 15 years now, and I'm in my mid 50s with serious health problems of my own. Yesterday was stressful, and he has another appointment coming up soon (with an eye specialist - we think he stuck the arm of his glasses in his eye and damaged the eyeball - we don't even know if he can see through that eye because he can't really tell us). I don't know how long I can keep dealing with this. Sorry for the long post but I have to tell you this. The reason for the visit to A&E (among other things) was that carers check on dad regularly in the night, and on one visit found him UNDER the bed! Completely under it, with just his feet sticking out! How he got there is anyone's guess because he can hardly walk these days. It's a worry because he's on warfarin, and he's getting covered in bruises. The home is reluctant to use bed rails (due to regulations?). I think they think he's becoming a danger to himself now.