They're coming to do a needs assessment and a capacity assessment at MIL's this week, have you been through this? Is there anything I need to do? (Or not do?) I'm a bit anxious that something I say might make life worse for MIL. I've told them that I can't talk about her in front of her because she can't remember things so she doesn't know any of this stuff. As far as she's concerned she can still do everything she used to. How much do you tell them? Chapter and verse - or do you dial it down a bit? At her worst mother in law is completely unmanageable, a frequent danger to herself and sometimes a concern with others too. (She bares her teeth, lunges, grabs, claws, barges and shoves.) We (and Memantine) mostly manage to keep her calm nowadays though. And the barging and shoving is not so much aggression directed at people as the most efficient way of getting from A to B is by removing the obstacles, even when said obstacles are a baby buggy and an old fella with two sticks Can anybody take me through what happens?