Hi friends,
You know, I just feel crappy today. Seems like nothing is in sync with anyone I know and I just want life to be normal. Oh God, what if this is normal
Actually, Mom seems to be ok this week, just the usual repetitions and forgetful...knock on wood, nothing off the wall yet. I got my Dad out of the hospital on Tuesday and he is doing well. It is everything else piled ontop of it that is just sending me over the edge. My father in law has terminal lung cancer and we're going to see him end of May for a last visit. My brother has been in the hospital for six weeks after taking a nasty fall, had neck surgery, almost died, and is learning to walk again. He will get out in ten days and his wife is taking off for a fun weekend and leaving him in the care of their 14 year old son, ha! I would have gone to help if they had let me know before making plans to go see my FIL, now I can't. ANd the crowning blow, my daughters boyfriend emailed me to ask if we can come for a surprise party he is throwing my daughter in June. Sounds nice, right? He is going to propose to her and wants a crowd. I wish he would plan a nice romantic thing and ask her without us having to be there. I don't like him, think he is just full of you know what and am a little sick that they will get married. Gads, I have to go make nice nice and like I'm happy about this when I'm not. And ask my husband to do it when he really dislikes this guy. He doesn't hide his emotions as well as I do either.
I just want to be happy. I feel like my life is so entwined with AD and coping with family members illnesses that I can't even muster up happiness for my daughters engagement. I don't think I could if she were marrying Prince William ! (well, maybe a little)
I'm just tired of being the strong one, of being the one to help, being the one to sacrifice and put my life on hold and being the one thinks happiness while a nice emotion just takes up energy I need to put into my task. Geez, this sucks.
I need a margaurita, a massage and a pool boy! Just kidding, or am I, HA!
Ok , my turn to be sorry for ranting. Wish I felt better for it but I just want to dig a hole a climb in.
Debbie
You know, I just feel crappy today. Seems like nothing is in sync with anyone I know and I just want life to be normal. Oh God, what if this is normal
Actually, Mom seems to be ok this week, just the usual repetitions and forgetful...knock on wood, nothing off the wall yet. I got my Dad out of the hospital on Tuesday and he is doing well. It is everything else piled ontop of it that is just sending me over the edge. My father in law has terminal lung cancer and we're going to see him end of May for a last visit. My brother has been in the hospital for six weeks after taking a nasty fall, had neck surgery, almost died, and is learning to walk again. He will get out in ten days and his wife is taking off for a fun weekend and leaving him in the care of their 14 year old son, ha! I would have gone to help if they had let me know before making plans to go see my FIL, now I can't. ANd the crowning blow, my daughters boyfriend emailed me to ask if we can come for a surprise party he is throwing my daughter in June. Sounds nice, right? He is going to propose to her and wants a crowd. I wish he would plan a nice romantic thing and ask her without us having to be there. I don't like him, think he is just full of you know what and am a little sick that they will get married. Gads, I have to go make nice nice and like I'm happy about this when I'm not. And ask my husband to do it when he really dislikes this guy. He doesn't hide his emotions as well as I do either.
I just want to be happy. I feel like my life is so entwined with AD and coping with family members illnesses that I can't even muster up happiness for my daughters engagement. I don't think I could if she were marrying Prince William ! (well, maybe a little)
I'm just tired of being the strong one, of being the one to help, being the one to sacrifice and put my life on hold and being the one thinks happiness while a nice emotion just takes up energy I need to put into my task. Geez, this sucks.
I need a margaurita, a massage and a pool boy! Just kidding, or am I, HA!
Ok , my turn to be sorry for ranting. Wish I felt better for it but I just want to dig a hole a climb in.
Debbie
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