• Expert Q&A: Rare dementias - Tues 3 March, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of rare dementias. It will be hosted by Nikki and Seb from Rare Dementia Support. If you have any questions about rare dementias, they will be here to answer them on Tuesday 3 March between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

needing to unload

rummy

Registered User
Jul 15, 2005
700
Oklahoma,USA
Hi friends,
You know, I just feel crappy today. Seems like nothing is in sync with anyone I know and I just want life to be normal. Oh God, what if this is normal:mad:
Actually, Mom seems to be ok this week, just the usual repetitions and forgetful...knock on wood, nothing off the wall yet. I got my Dad out of the hospital on Tuesday and he is doing well. It is everything else piled ontop of it that is just sending me over the edge. My father in law has terminal lung cancer and we're going to see him end of May for a last visit. My brother has been in the hospital for six weeks after taking a nasty fall, had neck surgery, almost died, and is learning to walk again. He will get out in ten days and his wife is taking off for a fun weekend and leaving him in the care of their 14 year old son, ha! I would have gone to help if they had let me know before making plans to go see my FIL, now I can't. ANd the crowning blow, my daughters boyfriend emailed me to ask if we can come for a surprise party he is throwing my daughter in June. Sounds nice, right? He is going to propose to her and wants a crowd. I wish he would plan a nice romantic thing and ask her without us having to be there. I don't like him, think he is just full of you know what and am a little sick that they will get married. Gads, I have to go make nice nice and like I'm happy about this when I'm not. And ask my husband to do it when he really dislikes this guy. He doesn't hide his emotions as well as I do either.
I just want to be happy. I feel like my life is so entwined with AD and coping with family members illnesses that I can't even muster up happiness for my daughters engagement. I don't think I could if she were marrying Prince William ! (well, maybe a little)
I'm just tired of being the strong one, of being the one to help, being the one to sacrifice and put my life on hold and being the one thinks happiness while a nice emotion just takes up energy I need to put into my task. Geez, this sucks.
I need a margaurita, a massage and a pool boy! Just kidding, or am I, HA!
Ok , my turn to be sorry for ranting. Wish I felt better for it but I just want to dig a hole a climb in.
Debbie
 
Last edited:

rummy

Registered User
Jul 15, 2005
700
Oklahoma,USA
OH yeh, and one more thing. I'm really ****ed off that they killed of Libby on Lost last night! Just when I thought the fat guy was finally going to get the pretty girl and how cool is that ! They kill her off. I may stop watching!
Debbie
ok, now I'm done
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
near London
Hi Debbie

so sorry that things are getting to you at the moment.

The things you say reflect what a lot of us feel:
You know, I just feel crappy today. Seems like nothing is in sync with anyone I know and I just want life to be normal. Oh God, what if this is normal
I have to go make nice nice and like I'm happy about this when I'm not.
this can be true not just about situations like yours, but just anything.
I don't think I could if she were marrying Prince William ! (well, maybe a little)
actually, I'd steer clear of the family as relationships there seem doomed. I've met the late Queen Mother and Princess Anne and they were/are really nice people ..... to meet, that is.
I'm just tired of being the strong one, of being the one to help, being the one to sacrifice and put my life on hold and being the one thinks happiness while a nice emotion just takes up energy I need to put into my task
oh YES, we can all relate to that!
Ok , my turn to be sorry for ranting.
don't be!!! we all have to do it and it is a major reason that TP is here, is used and works, most of the time
Wish I felt better for it
but it can't be a cure-all, and sometimes we just need time to pull things together once more, personally speaking.
but I just want to dig a hole a climb in.
oh YES to that, too!

You are keeping your sense of humour and that's important.

... make mine a Screwdriver, a MaiTai, a Quiet Sunday, a Freddy Fudpucker, a Harvey Wallbanger, a Planter's Punch, a simple Gin and Tonic.

probably not all together.

Take this posting as a massage, rather than a message... :rolleyes:

You can keep the pool boy to yourself.;)

Take care of yourself. You have helped lots of us here!
 

Michael E

Registered User
Apr 14, 2005
619
Ronda Spain
Debbie hi,

You are always so kind to me when I have the blues or 'more personal problems' so I really want to come back with something truly optimistic and hopeful...

have sat here for several minutes and can think of nothing to post!!

Well nothing hopeful...

I am truly sorry about Libby - a loss to mankind - as for your daughter - well - women always go for the bad ones - was there an episode of friends with that 'engagement' party story line? - got a feeling it ended up very very badly!!! For the guy asking - so keep your fingers crossed - she might just say NO! For sufficient 'presidents' I could have a go at finding Prince Williams phone number if your interested...

As for your brother... brings a whole new meaning to the good luck expression 'Break a leg'... He'll be OK - a wonderful glamorous social worker will come by to help him out - and your sister in law will find out/never find out - you can choose..

As I have so dismally failed to find any real optimism I can only now offer 'life's a bitch and then you die' but you should try to have a load of fun in-between!!

Try a few illegal substances or a big glass of cold white wine followed by another!

love
Michael
 

rummy

Registered User
Jul 15, 2005
700
Oklahoma,USA
Brucie and Michael, you have both brought me smiles and giggles, thank you so very much.
Bruce, I can go a gin and tonic (not knowing what a Freddy Fudpucker is) and Michael I'll have a nice Merlot !
Pool boys are probably over rated anyway.
My kid has so much on the ball, college educated, successful career , etc...but never had good sense with guys! Oh well, she is young enough to do this, learn and have a do over. Nope she won't say "no", she is too stuborn to admit she is wrong!
My brother is a train wreck. Was over 300 pounds with a bad knee when he fell. legs and arms went numb which the neck surgery helped. He has lost 45 lbs and has 50 to go at least. But still needs shoulder repair and a knee replacement, that is, if they can get the diabetes and congestive heart failure under control.
So sorry, I'm ranting again. Honestly, unloading here helps soooo much. If the devil works on our fears and weaknesses, he is having a field day on me today !

Your great, thanks,
Debbie
 

Michael E

Registered User
Apr 14, 2005
619
Ronda Spain
Bruce posted whilst I was trying desperately to find any optimism at all in your situation... we agree - the answer lays in the bottle...!! I notice he was struggling as well!!!

Talking of which - the French surgical lot get really intense and serious about even very minor ops... Yesterday I had to go to an interview with the anesthetist... Had to fill in a 3 page form - which we went through together - then he asked how much I drink? 1/2 bottle of wine a night or sometimes a little more!! Very bad he said! Absolute max is 2 small glasses! I foolishly answered - 'you only live once' - or something like that... Got a 10 minute lecture on stupidity and the dangers of the daemon drink...

to cut a long story short he was impressed by a big scar on my stomach which I got in Thailand from an operation before being attacked and robbed by pirates - then I heard that his brother had a sail boat in Venezuela and and and .. then he finished the conversation with saying he had a bottle of really good Scotch and some Burbon in his office and would I like to come round for a glass or two!!!

Hope he is sober when he puts me under!

Love

Michael
 

Dave W

Registered User
Jul 3, 2005
268
59
Bucks
Forget the pool boy

Debbie

the pool boys of cliche are either dead-beats, stoners or gay. The only think to do with them is bribe them to fill the pool with gin and construct you a large straw so that you don't have to stir from the lounger (except of course to demand more lemon slices be thrown into the pool).

You - like anyone else - can only cope with so much at once, so only cope with that much. Your brother's health problems aren't your fault, and your daughter will live and possibly learn. Either make as nice as you can or don't go to the party (you have enough reasons to be busy, surely?).

If you need a marguerita and a massage, an off-licence and a gym should sort you out on both of those fairly easily. Failing that, advertise for a masseur with cocktail making skills.

I hope that between us we've made you at least smile briefly - laughter may not cure everything, but it can certainly act as a wonderful painkiller.

Now have that drink, and let us know if tommorrow turned out to be a better day - I hope so.
 

rummy

Registered User
Jul 15, 2005
700
Oklahoma,USA
the pool boys of cliche are either dead-beats, stoners or gay
Ah Dave, you've gone and blown my fantasy;) .....but I'm sure your right besides I have a perfectly adorable hubby.

Anyway, I am emerging from my funk. Or at least trying to and you guys have helped put a smile on my face this morning.

I realized that what is REALLy bothering me is the inability to call my Mom and talk to her about all this. She was my best friend and confidant. It just feels so lonely when I reach for that phone and can't make that call.

I don't know where I would put these feelings or who else would totally understand if I couldn't come to TP. There isn't a sole on here that doesn't know what I'm feeling right now.

For that I feel truly blessed.

Debbie
 

Michael E

Registered User
Apr 14, 2005
619
Ronda Spain
Debbie hi,
If you knew the dramas going on here between the posts .... Monique has been tearful all day - really down --- I took her to see her friend who sells wine in a cellar wine shop in town - she has come round to a v unhappy Monique to do her hair - (Never understand why women with beautiful blond hair want to die the roots black!!)

In the courtyard M is hating me and having a tantrum and cross cos she has not heard from her brother Jacques - so I get the phone and call him and let her speak - major tantrums and agony down the 'dog and bone' together with statements that I have robbed her - give her no money - have stolen her fathers money and property.. then she puts the phone on the table... I pick it up to speak to Jacques again - his mobile switched off. call the land line ... off the hook, call his wife's portable and nobody picks up.. leave a message to call me....

I think Jacques is now jumping into the BMW to drive 6 hours from Paris to here to give me grief for stealing my own money and not looking after Monique properly - he feels I should take her for walks even when she is determined not to go... That I am trying to escape from my legal responsibilities and he is going to have me arrested if I 'do a runner'... If you think your future son in law is a **** let me assure you my brother in law is a pain in the butt...

Just been through a couple of quiet weeks with Monique and now I seem to be paying in spades....

It is frequently the relatives - ours or theirs - that make looking after someone even more difficult!!! I have noticed that from other peoples posts... Still what the hell? The game isn't over til the fat woman sings.... Unlike the USA they are all pretty slim here so it could be a long game.... And this is a good practice run for Jacko for when he and assorted distant relatives move in for the duration of my respite - oops operation!!

Now - where can I find a fat woman who can sing??

Michael
 

rummy

Registered User
Jul 15, 2005
700
Oklahoma,USA
Gads, I don't think I have it so bad after reading your situation today Michael! I really hope your inlaws get a belly full while taking care of Monique and your recouping! Take as loooonnnnng as you can and give them a good dose.
My Mom has the uncanny ability to be on her best behavior when company comes, just saves the bad stuff for us. I hate it when relatives say " oh your Mom isn't so bad" Oh, is that why my husband found poppy pants on the back fence where she tried to hide them!
It also seems to me that every time my Mom is "good" we are in for a huge fall. It never fails.
When do you go into the hospital?
Also, had to laugh at your Fat lady and finding them in USA remark! So sad, but true !! My daughter just read a book called "why French women aren't fat" or something like that. She went on the program and has lost ten pounds in two weeks. I'm fortunately within legal limits for my shortness and have the petite genes that skipped my brother but still at over 50, I have to work at it all the time.
No singing from here but if I run across one I'll send her your way.
Deb
 

maggier

Registered User
Jan 9, 2006
78
62
manchester
Michael, you absolutely crack me up!..........

I always find your posts if I am feeling really p**ssed off! they always manage to cheer me up. I would love for there to be some way (and I know it's impossible) but just for a few of us from this TP to be in the same room at one time if only for half an hour. I am sure that , even though all our lives are quite sad in some respects with everything we have to deal with, there would be loads and loads of laughter in that room because none of us have anything to hide, we could talk openly and I really feel I know some of you guys in a way.

Thanks Michael again for making me LOL (laugh out loud) or LMAO (laugh my a**e off)

Hugs

Maggie xx
 

Blue_Gremlin

Registered User
Mar 15, 2006
89
40
Morecambe, UK
rummy said:
OH yeh, and one more thing. I'm really ****ed off that they killed of Libby on Lost last night! Just when I thought the fat guy was finally going to get the pretty girl and how cool is that ! They kill her off. I may stop watching!
Debbie
ok, now I'm done

I don't believe you just said that!!!!!! Over here we have only just got season 2 of Lost and now I know what happens to Libby!! :mad:

Blue_Gremlin
 

rummy

Registered User
Jul 15, 2005
700
Oklahoma,USA
I don't believe you just said that!!!!!! Over here we have only just got season 2 of Lost and now I know what happens to Libby!!
OH MY GOSH !! I had no idea, I"m so sorry !! Well, it is still a cliff hanger and you will not believe what happens....I'll tell ya if ya want to know,,,hehehe
 

Amy

Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
3,453
Hiya all,
Michael if he's not sober you may leave 'respite' as a male soprano!

Rummy, couldn't help but smile at this one
Oh, is that why my husband found poppy pants on the back fence
The vision of Bridget Jones pants with lovely red poppies- don't think that was what you intended, but my vision is undoubtedly better than the reality!

Lost? Never heard of it. What am I missing?
Love Amy
 

rummy

Registered User
Jul 15, 2005
700
Oklahoma,USA
Hi Amy,
Yes a typo, of course poopy would be more inline with what really happened but it wasn't as bad as when she left them in the mail box for the post man!! Bridget Jones poppies was definitely better!

Lost is a very popular series that comes on every week. Almost too strange to even tell you about. Basically a jet crashes on an island and the survivors get into all kinds of strange predicaments. There are inhabitants on the island always putting them in danger. Would say more but I don't want to give away any more episodes that are yet to be shown in the UK ! I will say it is very good, with story lines that switch back and forth about each survivors life.

Lynne, We watch "Will You Be Served" and " Keeping up Appearances"(and by the way, is it still in production? One episode I watched they all were looking so old especially Rose and Emmit. Lately though, my favorite British show is Dr. Who !!

Debbie
 

noelphobic

Registered User
Feb 24, 2006
3,452
Liverpool
rummy said:
There isn't a sole on here that doesn't know what I'm feeling right now.
Debbie
Are you implying that there's something fishy going on here? Or that we're down at heel? :D

I can't believe you've given a plot line away for 'Lost'. I don't think we've even met Libby yet! And how does the fat guy stay so fat on rations? :confused:
 

rummy

Registered User
Jul 15, 2005
700
Oklahoma,USA
Are you implying that there's something fishy going on here? Or that we're down at heel?
Geez, I am so full of typos today !! Ok, soul,,, you got me:D

I can't believe you've given a plot line away for 'Lost'. I don't think we've even met Libby yet! And how does the fat guy stay so fat on rations?
I can't believe I did that either, so sorry !! Ummm, the fat guy eats but I'm afraid to tell you how or Blue Grimlin will get mad:eek:

Debbie