Needing time to breathe

Blue_Gremlin

Registered User
Mar 15, 2006
89
41
Morecambe, UK
Well gav didn't get the job and everything is getting on top of us now. We are facing his redundancy at the end of the month with fear. We are afraid we might lose the house we bought only a year ago if he doesn't find work soon. We are facing putting Jean in a home with more fear. She is not coping with day care - gets aggressive and tries to 'escape' through the fire doors and attacks the staff. So heaven help us when we do have to put her in a home!! :eek:

It is our second wedding anniversary on friday and we are supposed to be blissfully happily married and I have never felt lower than I do now. That really is saying something since in the 8 years we have been together we have been through more than most do in a lifetime......and it just keeps coming.

Does anyone else wish life would just stop kicking?? :(

Anyway I have tried my best to ensure that Jean is taken care of this weekend but we just need to get away. We need time to think, plan and regroup before we come back fighting. Is that selfish?? My mum gave me a lecture about going away and spending money when gav has just lost his job but she doesn't understand that if he doesn't get a break soon (and me for that matter) we will explode. There is only so much a person can take before it is time to step back and try to regain some perspective.

Sorry this has been more about me than Jean but she is a major factor in our needing to think.

Sorry if I am being selfish but I just needed someone to support my decision and maybe ease the guilt monster we all feel so deeply sometimes.

Thanks

Blue_Gremlin
 

DickG

Registered User
Feb 26, 2006
558
84
Stow-on-the-Wold
Hi Blue_Gremlin

Pass the guilt monster on, it is somebody elses turn to have him. If you and Gav are not on an even keel you cannot hope to help Jean, if spending scarce funds in restoring perspective is what you judge to be necessary so be it.

You are not being selfish and look after yourselves.

Hugs

Dick
 

Amy

Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
3,453
Hiya Blue Gremlin,
Sounds as though you have got it just right to me.
Hope you have a good weekend - just enjoy one another.
Love, Helen
 

Blue_Gremlin

Registered User
Mar 15, 2006
89
41
Morecambe, UK
Thanks guys, you have helped - really.

I know we will be more useful in all aspects when we get back. Just need to recharge the batteries and compose a plan of action.

Thanks

Blue_Gremlin :)
 

Tender Face

Account Closed
Mar 14, 2006
5,379
NW England
If you DARE send a postcard saying 'weather's great, just composing a plan of action' .....;)

Go and celebrate..... go and recharge ... especially, go and 'escape'..... you and Gav clearly have something very special - to have stayed together through what has been thrown at you already ... it might not seem like 'blissfully happily married' just now - but I'm convinced that you have a marriage many others only dare dream of - you're solid, together - and will be for many, many years ..... treat this anniversary as a rehearsal for your silver/golden wedding.....!!!!

Money is only money ..... it comes and it goes sometimes .... love is worth investing in.......

Love, Karen, x
 

Libby

Registered User
May 20, 2006
625
62
North East
Hi Blue Gremlin

You're very young to be caring for an elderley relative. Now is the time to be making the most of your lives, so go away and enjoy.

I hope you have a fantastic weekend away

Take care

Libs
 

mel

Registered User
Apr 30, 2006
1,656
62
Sheffield
Hi Blue gremlin
i'd just like to echo what every one else has said
There is no way you're selfish....your under great pressure at the moment and you need to get away and relax/recharge..
Have a lovely break
Love
Wendy
 

mel

Registered User
Apr 30, 2006
1,656
62
Sheffield
Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy xx


Thats such a lovely saying, Margarita
Love
Wendy
 

May

Registered User
Oct 15, 2005
627
Yorkshire
Go enjoy!
Hang the expense! You'll manage.It's not selfish, it's 'healing time'. I took two days off the treadmill last week and feel sooo much better for it, thinking clearly for the first time in about twelve months!
As for the 'guilt monster', if he does appear whilst you're away and you happen to be at the seaside, chuck him off the top of a cliff somewhere!:D
 

Blue_Gremlin

Registered User
Mar 15, 2006
89
41
Morecambe, UK
Well we are all booked and nowhere near packed (not surprising for me - am USELESS at packing). We leave tomorrow lunchtime - I can't wait!!!!!

Thanks to everyone who has encouraged me, I am really looking forward to it now :)

Blue_Gremlin
 

Michael E

Registered User
Apr 14, 2005
619
Ronda Spain
Hi Blue Gremlin,

Have a wonderful time... It will work out in the end - it always does but I think, as well , that you are far too young to cope personally with the problem... Let the state take the strain - or the home or whatever..

love

Michael
 

Cate

Registered User
Jul 2, 2006
1,370
Newport, Gwent
Hi Blue Gremlin

If ever you need a break its now, best time to go away is when you are feeling low, try and forget your worries and concentrate on each other, then you will come back all the better for it.
My husband was made redundent last year after 30 years with the same Company, so we knew age was going to be against him getting another job. Mum bless her heart was driving us nuts with the usual 18 + phone calls a day. So being very rash we thought hang the expense and took off for Greece for 2 whole weeks leaving mum in the care of my brother. Well, to say we come back refreshed is an understatement, ready to take on the world, well, job hunting and mum. Guess what, he got another job, much less salary, but much less responsibility and more home time. We sold the house and down sized, best decision ever, and mum, well thats another story, getting worse by the week, but we are much able to cope. My advice to you is, you cannot eat an elephant in one go, bit at a time, and it starts with a nibble at the tail, in other words look after yourself, and enjoy your break, you deserve it.
Love
Cate
 

Blue_Gremlin

Registered User
Mar 15, 2006
89
41
Morecambe, UK
Well we are back.

I do feel much better for getting away. Managed to forget (to a certain degree) our troubles for three days.

Hadn't even got home before the phone was ringing with Jean's sister Nancy going on about putting her in a home again!!! Oh well at least we know we are home now!!!!

Now where to start on putting the world to rights?? Or at least our little corner of it anyway :)

Thanks again you guys for supporting me - it really means a lot that I can rely on you lot and that I have someone to moan to when I need it.

*hugs* to all!!!! :)

Blue_Gremlin
 

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