Needing more than sympathy


Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
Hi all, having put in place care morning and evening for Lionel, I was coping reasonably well.

Yesterday around 10.00am my back went. Ouch. As I have had two op's on same in the past I was pertrified. However, I am still up, but not running. Absolute agony, can't sit, can't stand without pain.

But of course I now need more help with Lionel. One of our carers stepped into the breach yesterday afternoon, and she has been such a help this morning. Should be taking us both to dentist today, have had to cancel. Will just have to get on with things. Just hope Lionels mobility holds up a little, till I am able to take the strain, literally.

Other than that, all O.K. Look after yourselves, Connie

Michael E

Registered User
Apr 14, 2005
Ronda Spain
Connie hi,

That's dreadful - do not know how you are coping with pain and worry! Is this a time to consider asking Lionel to go into a home for a short while? It is possible he would understand - remember and co-operate??/

good luck with it - thinking of you



Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
near London

I have a bad back [damaged while gardening originally] and was once off work for 12 weeks when a couple of discs went bad - to relieve one was to make the other worse, and vice versa. Fortunately, Jan was in the early stages then and looked after me.

I can't even begin to wonder how someone with a bad back could cope caring for someone with dementia. But I do know that if anyone can, you can!

Do get any help you can!

Best wishes


Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
I really do sympathise but know you will cope (with difficulty). I also have had back problems made worse by the constant 'lugging' and lifting. Thanks to a wonderful physiotherapist I am on regular back exercises but do dread being in your present situation. I find it hard when David just does not understand that I can have a problem and still expects the same care and attention. Hope you pain soon eases Best wishes BeckyJan


Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
Thanks for messages. Lionel is due to go into respite on 21st so only two weeks.

I shall manage, have just put some more home care into place. Agreed that lifting and lugging himself around does not help, but I had back problems long before I met Lionel. You learn how to Lift, bend, sleep, around your back, guess I just forgot something yesterday. That will teach me. Stay strong, Connie


Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
Glad you got restpit sorted out

I had the bath taken out & had a disabled shower put in the value gone ,so they put a new one in ,the man could not get the hot water to run ,the engineer meant to ring to make a appointment since last Thursday the secretary of the office today said he was meant to ring me today& hear I am waiting ,teenage arguing with me why they are taking so long ,how can they let a disabled people or even us with out a shower am pulling my hair out .


Registered User
Nov 28, 2004
Hello Connie. There is one thing I DO understand, and that is back pain. Can you get some physiotherapy? Do hope that you are soon feeling a little easier.


Registered User
Oct 9, 2003
Birmingham Hades
you will manage,knowing you as I do.
I have had some shoulder problems,I wonder why?
Just had 4 sessions with an Osteopath and it is cured,at least it's gone away for now.
Keep smiling Connie

Nutty Nan

Registered User
Nov 2, 2003
A prayer

Dear Connie,
You may have heard of the plea "dear Lord, if you can't give me a lighter load, please give me a stronger back" - I think a bit of both would go a long way!

Best wishes!!


Registered User
Feb 24, 2006
Good luck with getting the help needed, both caring help and physio or other physical help.