My has alzheimers and several over conditions, he's constantly asking me to call the doctor or for an ambulance for the smallest things like if need to wee, he asks that I get a doctor in to help him, if I say, you don't need a doctor, he'll say I'm not helping him and he needs a doctors help. I try not to argue with him but it's getting harder to so no to him, it makes me feel bad but I can phone for an ambulance every time he needs a wee. He's living with me now so it's full on 24/7.
Needing Help
- Thread starter Mamdougan914
- Start date
This is difficult for you as you must feel like you are going round in circles.my inclinationwould be depending on his level of understanding with your answers...the ambulance/GP have finished work for today I will phone tomorrow....pretend to use the phone and it's engaged/answer phone...leave a pretend message so he can hear that you have tried/....they are coming later/tomorrow....think of anything else he may be likely to accept for that moment,good luck, it is draining when it is persistent.
Has he been checked by a doctor recently, just in case he has a UTI, and is finding passing urine uncomfortable? Or is it just (just?! ) that he recognises that he needs help, but is uncomfortable having YOU help him? My husband used to be very aggressive and sometimes violent with me when I had to help him with personal care ( although not always), but once in a Nursing Home, he was perfectly happy for the uniformed male carers to help him.
hi Mamdougan94
might you say that the doctor has left you instructions and said that you can help in their place - or whatever wording would work
maybe even have some gloves and a supply of the aprons carers use so that you can look more like a carer
arguing with him is unlikely to work, it just made my dad angry and more convinced something was wrong - try a brief response then leaving him, and go back a short time later very matter of factly giving him directions on what to do eg the bathroom's through here, the doctor says it's fine to ...
do you have home care visits? - the carers for dad were in uniform and that might help you - if you don't, contact your Local Authority Adult Services and ask for an assessment of his needs and for a carer's assessment for yourself
best wishes
might you say that the doctor has left you instructions and said that you can help in their place - or whatever wording would work
maybe even have some gloves and a supply of the aprons carers use so that you can look more like a carer
arguing with him is unlikely to work, it just made my dad angry and more convinced something was wrong - try a brief response then leaving him, and go back a short time later very matter of factly giving him directions on what to do eg the bathroom's through here, the doctor says it's fine to ...
do you have home care visits? - the carers for dad were in uniform and that might help you - if you don't, contact your Local Authority Adult Services and ask for an assessment of his needs and for a carer's assessment for yourself
best wishes
