1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

Need urgent advice plz

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by chick1962, Dec 1, 2015.

  1. chick1962

    chick1962 Registered User

    Apr 3, 2014
    11,265
    Female
    near Folkestone
    My OH just got aggressive for the first time . He got very angry ( don't know why) and has thrown the remote with such a force it shattered and damaged the wardrobe! He now has left the house in this state and I could not stop him. I put shoes on to look for him but can't find him??? Do I call the police, wait, I don't know what to do ???


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  2. CeliaW

    CeliaW Registered User

    Jan 29, 2009
    5,653
    Hampshire
    Chick - I would contact the police to let them know he is vulnerable. Can you get your son or someone to come with you to look for him? Please make sure you don't put yourself in a hazardous situation. Big hugs xx
     
  3. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,967
    Brixham Devon
    Yes Heike-phone the police. Give them a description of what he is wearing if possible. Get a neighbour or friend to be at your home in case he returns.

    XXX
     
  4. chick1962

    chick1962 Registered User

    Apr 3, 2014
    11,265
    Female
    near Folkestone
    Ok


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  5. AlsoConfused

    AlsoConfused Registered User

    Sep 17, 2010
    1,958
    Stop to think briefly about what your main worries are (what your OH may do while he's out? What will he do to you when he gets back? Whether he'll get back safely? Whether this aggression is escalating and becoming unmanageable?). Then ring the local police, explaining the situation and asking for advice.

    I'd try the police first because they're more likely than Social Services Duty Officers to provide immediate help and reassurance. The police may have dementia trained officers to assist you.

    I'm sure this was a very frightening episode. You yourself will probably be unable to decide at this stage how significant the episode is. Good luck, hope you make the call and hope you soon feel more in control of events.
     
  6. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,967
    Brixham Devon
    If you are on Social Media sites post now.

    XXXX
     
  7. sleepless

    sleepless Registered User

    Feb 19, 2010
    3,232
    Female
    The Sweet North
    Poor Chick. Feel so useless just reading, wish we could help.
     
  8. sleepless

    sleepless Registered User

    Feb 19, 2010
    3,232
    Female
    The Sweet North
    Could he have gone around the back, into the back garden? Or garage if there is one?
     
  9. Scarlett123

    Scarlett123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2013
    3,802
    Essex
    Me too. It is so scary, but the Police will make this is a priority as he is a vulnerable person.
     
  10. chick1962

    chick1962 Registered User

    Apr 3, 2014
    11,265
    Female
    near Folkestone
    He took the car!!! Worried sick , police called and was told to stay at home just incase he comes home


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  11. sleepless

    sleepless Registered User

    Feb 19, 2010
    3,232
    Female
    The Sweet North
    Chick, stay calm love.

    When they bring him home he may be anxious and frightened -- or he may not.

    But he needs you to be his anchor, his Heike, so give him a nice smile and say hello as if everything was normal.

    Holding you tight. xx
     
  12. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,967
    Brixham Devon
    Heike, we will all wait with you for news of John. The Police will find him.

    Love

    Lyn T XX
     
  13. lin1

    lin1 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2010
    9,322
    Female
    East Kent
    OMG Chick i can only imagine how worried you must be
    Sending you my love
    XXXXXXX
     
  14. chick1962

    chick1962 Registered User

    Apr 3, 2014
    11,265
    Female
    near Folkestone
    Police brought him back , he went to sons work and started on him. Can't get hold of son and worried he never speak to me again . Thank you all for your kind words . Mental health are coming out


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  15. sleepless

    sleepless Registered User

    Feb 19, 2010
    3,232
    Female
    The Sweet North
    #15 sleepless, Dec 1, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2015
    John is back, and OK.

    Sorry Chick, posted at same time, j ust wanted to be sure everyone could breathe out!
     
  16. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    7,465
    Yorkshire
    Thank goodness
    thanks for letting us know
    I was reading but didn't want to clog the airwaves
    Thinking of you, Chick, and OH and son
    Keep safe and take all the help on offer
     
  17. sleepless

    sleepless Registered User

    Feb 19, 2010
    3,232
    Female
    The Sweet North
    Ther'll be a drain on the electricity network now, as everyone puts the kettle on!

    Sending you love, Heike xx
     
  18. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,722
    Kent
    #18 Grannie G, Dec 1, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2015
    Glad all iswell. This took me back. Make sure you have a currentphoto of your husband just in case you need it in the future.

    Sorry for the rushd reply chick. I\m on a different computer and struggling to find my way.
     
  19. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,455
    Ireland
    Oh, Heike. Thinking of you. Let us know how things go, but take your time. And keep safe. I know how frightening those episodes are.
     
  20. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    Oh goodness! I am so glad that he is back safely. I do hope that Mental Health are able to help settle things down (((Chick)))
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.