Dear OH,
You can hear a pin drop but can't hear what the people on the TV are saying,
You can talk at me for hrs yet struggle to hold a conversation, stumble over words,forget names of items or just completely stop mid sentence.
Your use of numbers and writing are going down hill, you know what year we are in but can't work out what year it is next year. Your missing words out of sentences or getting them mixed up.
You are hearing things that are not there, people calling you, someone trying the backdoor.
Your having dreams that seem real,how many times have you woken up thinking/feeling like we have had a massive argument.
You have started locking the front door during the day, how many times have you locked one of the kids out now?
You are having accidents aiming for the toilet.
When can I go back to having showers without you thinking that it means I want sex,
You are no longer safe using tools, you cut through the internet cable and the hedge trimmer cable with the hedge trimmer, that will not be being replaced, but will you let someone else do it.....no.
You are have been hitting the doorframes as you pass through them, stumbling as you walk, losing your balance. I see you turn your head to look out the window and you seem to lean towards what your looking at.
If I go out I see you waiting by the window for me to return, like you have been put on pause, you don't know what to do with yourself if I'm not there.
You are losing the sense of how much time has passed, getting back up at night after 5 mins because you think you have been lying there awake for hrs, or coming looking for me because I have been out of sight for more than a minute, joking that you thought I had fallen asleep.
I see your world ( and mine) getting smaller, it's all about you, if I'm not concentrated on you then what am I doing ?
I spend alot of time bored, I don't want to play that computer game you play, but why would I need to switch laptop on if I'm not playing it with you? I pick up a book or try to listen to music and you start talking at me immediately, can't watch anything on TV as you will just turn over and watch the same stuff over and over.
I go out to the green house and you just follow to 'help' I ask you to do something in there to try and keep you distracted but you just want to do whatever it is that I am doing.
I feel as if I am just an extension of you with nothing of myself anywhere to be found.
How I wish to say all this and more to you out loud.
Yet you see nothing wrong.