Little bit of background, sorry it may be a long post.
7/8 years ago I noticed he was having dizzy spells whenever he stood up,no idea how long it had been going on,tried to act normal, talking while hanging on the table, nothing wrong he said, whenever he excerted himself he would have trouble breathing, become very light headed and feel sick. He was still working at this point and he had a bad dizzy spell at work if the desk hadn't been next to the wall or if he'd wobbled the other way he would have been on the floor,he was unsure if he actually passed out for a few seconds or not,lots of tests done. bloods ....only sugar came back borderline all others fine, sugars repeated after 3 months came back normal (no diabetes diagnosed yet) ECG,stress test 48hr blood pressure and heart monitor all they found was a mild irregular heartbeat that they said doesn't normally cause problems and blood pressure was dropping when he stood up, just take your time standing, wiggle feet around before getting up ,if continues come bk and they'd try beta blockers,continued getting dizzy but didn't go back.
Next couple of yrs were bad, family friend passed,he broke his wrist,hosp,physio,MRIs,still not right, nerve damage, he got made redundant,I had finally after nearly 20 yrs got a diagnosis for myself (arthritis,spine, pelvis) and was going through pip assessment,he had to sign on.very very pushy,they just wanted him off their books, didn't matter if just signed up for an agency ( whether they supplied work or not) he would be off their books,he mentioned the blood pressure and irregular heartbeat and was told he couldn't tell potential employers as it would be classed as him putting obstacles in the way and he would be sanctioned....talk about piling the stress on......anyway he got a warehouse 12hr night shift temp job.
First shift...I remember hearing him knocking on the front door and asking one of the kids what time it was.he then came straight upto bed. i got up,he got up couple of hrs later and immediately I knew something was wrong,his speech was way off, very slow and slurred,he could understand everything but couldn't really reply/ talk very well.he could only remember part of the way home,the rest of the journey was a blank, including crossing 2 main roads ( he walks, never been interested in driving) we managed to work out he was missing about 30 mins of time,no idea what happened.
He didn't want the hospital so compromised by ringing 111 for advice, they sent a doctor car thing to check him ( don't know proper term) and immediately ambulance called.
Still no idea what actually happened,there were a few scratches on his glasses,a little scratch on his head,fingerprick blood was normal but the fuller blood sugar test was high, diagnosed diabetes, abnormal liver tests,had scan (results were what he caught a glimpse off on that horrendous appointment)
They don't know if it was mini stroke,low blood sugar, whether he'd tied his shoelace or something and the blood pressure dropped, did he hit his head, have a concussion?
He was allowed home same day ,ECG, blood pressure tests again ,liver scan,heart scan,he went to all did as told right up to THAT appointment.was maybe 6 months .
Due to collapse he was signed off work while they investigated,handing sicknotes in,I mentioned a few concerns to gp and memory test given,job centre gave him a capability for work assessment which included a memory test,I was present so I know he remembered 3 of 4 items told to remember at the beginning and he struggled with counting backwards from 20 in 3's, slow and got 11 to 8 wrong he went to 7, and he didn't seem to understand what she wanted him to do to begin with.
He was supposed to carry on handing in sicknotes after the assessment but due to a comment from THAT gp at THAT appointment about they can't keep giving out sick notes just for diabetes,
he refused to ask for another and job centre dropped the claim ,but by this time I had been awarded pip and we put in for him to claim carers,it hadn't been changed over to universal credit yet so we were getting child tax credits,my pip and eventually carers but not any actual benefits for me or the oh, I couldn't put him through the stress of going through another claim for income support for us, I'd have to go through the work capability assessment and I just couldn't do it to him,he needed some stress free time.
We now have gone through the whole u/c assessment and it's all done and dusted.
It's actually been quite thephaputic writing this out, reminding myself of all the stress and **** he was put through when he had to look for work last time,I can see where the 'they will take carers of me and make me go to work' stress/ panic is coming from.
It's surprising how much damage one person can do with a few insensitive comments