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Need to unload/talk


Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
Unfortunately between the arthritis and hypermobility I have managed to slip a disk and done some damage to my back.

Since then I have become aware of a big change in OH compared to 12 months ago.

This time last year OH had 'his chores/jobs'. He would say that all housework was his job . But he would only actually focus on one or two 'jobs' that he would half do, ( only wash towels ) or didn't do properly (we had to rewash alot of plates ect).

If anyone else tried to do any housework it would turn into arguments, we were taking over his jobs because I wanted to make him go back to work or something similar.

We just about managed to get the basics done without upsetting him too much but I must say most of the housework had taken a backseat, it just wasn't worth it.

Fast forward 12 months although he will still say that housework is his job to anyone that asks. he no longer does anything, doesn't comment when someone else does it,

I have been doing the clothes washing recently, believe it or not this is how I slipped my disc... hanging washing out lol. I have had to get the kids helping out with the must do jobs, which 12 months ago led to lots of confrontations, but OH hasn't said a word about kids doing housework.

So this last week the kids have been doing housework. ( 1 little job at a time, so we can judge his reaction ). He has had no interest at all.

Our eldest tackled a big job this morning... The bathroom, it has been a good 12 months since it has had a thorough clean, normally just a quick wipe over, it was amazing to see it looking so good.

OH didn't bat an eyelid.
i have a trapped nerve in my back by something and with arthritis as well so also got a chronic pain condition. im on oramorph to take the edge off. my son does a lot of the jobs i cant do or my dil will come over and hoover if im bad. my daughter will do things if shes asked like she does his meds and takes him to the doctor as im basically housebound. i do have a mobility scooter which i go out once a week preferably on my own to have a break. my husband also has COPD so cant do anything much. i have a dustpan and brush with a long handle which helps. i have a light hoover and its anything that is easier for me. i do one job a day and have plenty of sit down days.


Registered User
Jan 1, 2021
I have bone spurs in my spine that catch on my nerves at times so I know where you are coming from with the trapped nerve pain,

I have had an urgent appointment for orthotics put through due to the lastest arthritis flaw, to see if there is any other aids/splints/braces to help.

So rant time...

OH has had his diabetes/BP review, I sent email with bullet points, I went into appointment with him and she did NOT want to know, he had 3 dizzy spells while in the office, she had to repeat herself multiple times because he didn't understand or didn't remember what had been said.
He brought up himself problems with pain, stiffness, difficulty moving with one of his legs,
Took blood and going to ring with results, OH made her write down when she's going to ring and even what time, so he doesn't forget.

she said...'if it keeps happening, come back down'
I translate to...' not my problem '
OH translate to.....' I'm not concerned so nothing is wrong'


New observations:-
Last night I noticed alot of blinking and eye squinting, when I asked OH he said it's involuntary and been happening for a week.
Today I noticed alot of raised eyebrows and eye flicking upwards, lots of re-arranging of glasses.
I have managed to film a little of the eyebrows and eye flicking around ... just need to find someone to show now.


Registered User
Jan 1, 2021
Managed to Show video to optician while OH was at his sister's ( eventually after getting over covid) and he sent appointment out for an eyetest.

Nystagmus,Blepharospasm, dystonia, neurological all mentioned. has now been referred to an ophthalmologist for further investigation ( I think I've spelt and got everything right).

He's had blood tests results back and everything is great, they have even said his diabetes is in remission ( no idea how, since he eats ALOT of sweet stuff).

Only thing that came out of his review was his BP still a tiny bit high,

Day before he went to his sister's I tested positive for covid, she still took him as they have had it themselves recently, but he has insisted on coming back every day for a couple of hrs to 'look after me' and his sister couldn't persuade him otherwise.. even though I didn't really get the break I wanted I was grateful for what I did get as those first 3 days with covid knocked me for 6 and energy levels are very low. I don't think I would have managed if he had been at home.

New observations:-
Has said this house doesn't feel like home ( lived here 17yrs) and he keeps saying things like 'having it delivered to yours' or 'when I come to yours'