1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

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Need to think about respite

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Dimelza, Oct 12, 2015.

  1. Dimelza

    Dimelza Registered User

    May 28, 2013
    130
    Hi. I need to look into respite for dad for a couple of times that we will be away. I've no idea where to start, I did ask friends for recommendations but both homes recommended have been inspected recently and failed miserably.
    Apart from the "where", it's "how"? Do I just choose one and send dad? Do short visits first?
    Do they need to know his every detail as this would be tricky because his life is so random!


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  2. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    9,768
    Merseyside
    Is your dad self funding? If so contact local homes & ask if they do respite?
    If not contact social services & ask for respite to be arranged.
     
  3. Dimelza

    Dimelza Registered User

    May 28, 2013
    130
    Yes self funding. I meant more how to find a good home.


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  4. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    9,768
    Merseyside
    Oh sorry. I haven't had enough coffee yet :eek: :D

    You could ask social services for a list, ask around but only visiting them will give you a gut instinct about a place.
    Personally I wouldn't send him for less than a week first time to enable him to get used to the place & for you to have a break.
     
  5. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,846
    Suffolk
    I looked at a few local homes, chose one, someone came to see OH, they accepted him as OK for their home and off he went for a fortnight. I didn't visit as I was going away. All went smoothly,thank goodness!
     
  6. Bod

    Bod Registered User

    Aug 30, 2013
    1,111
    My tip would be..
    Start looking in very good time, most homes do respite in empty rooms, when they are vacant, ie between residents. Respite rooms are not like hotel rooms, book and turn up.
    Get on the phone, find homes who are likely to have a room when you need one, most likely you will have to go on a list, (get idea of cost). Go see as many as you can, just yourself at this stage, the homes will want to assess your Dad.

    If you can be flexible with your travel dates, that will help.

    Bod
     
  7. Margaret79

    Margaret79 Registered User

    The Barchester group of homes do have bookable respite. Some homes like the one MIL attends also do day care which is great for us as she goes twice a week and the staff know MIL in all her glory :D:eek::D Worth a look to see if there's one near you.
     
  8. Dimelza

    Dimelza Registered User

    May 28, 2013
    130
    Thank you all so much ☺️ I've made a list of local ones that do respite and will cal tomorrow. I'm wondering about half term as I still have primary age children so I could have a week off work with no pressure and devote it to the kids.


    My dad has mixed dementia and lives with us in an annexe.
     
  9. Dimelza

    Dimelza Registered User

    May 28, 2013
    130
    There wasn't enough coffee in the world for me today, I feel your pain


    My dad has mixed dementia and lives with us in an annexe.
     
  10. Dimelza

    Dimelza Registered User

    May 28, 2013
    130
    Well I found a nice home for respite, it was recommended and the staff all seem lovely. I'm obviously nervous but it'll do all of us good! They're going to get a chiropodist for him and he can have his hair trimmed and almost guarantee a bath or shower despite his extreme reluctance.
    Assessment this week and he goes in on Monday 26/10 for a week.
    Now, what do I do? Ordered him some pjs as he doesn't have any that fit him (refuses to change for bed!) but is there anything they need to know.
    I can't get his medication in blisters this month as yet again the chemist messed up so I'm going to send them in their boxes - assume that's ok?
    Any advice welcome!


    --------------------------------
    My dad has mixed dementia and lives with us in an annexe.
     
  11. Bessieb

    Bessieb Registered User

    Jun 2, 2014
    108
    When my parents went in for respite (now there permanently but that's another story) they did need to know quite a lot of detail. I sat with the Head of Care and went through a standard pro forma they have...quite detailed about health, history, family and life history (so they can chat to them and help settle), any particular needs or difficulties. It took about 45 mins / an hour but worth the investment in time and it'll probably mean you have a more restful time off as the CH will be able to deal with things more easily if they crop up without having to contact you.
    I'm sure medication in boxes will be fine - that's what my parents have in their CH and it's managed very well.

    Good luck with it - the CH will be very experienced and able to take all the strain from you for a while so you can enjoy your week :)
     

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