need standard contract for home help - any one know where i can find one?

[katiebell]

mum going home from hospital after a fall - any advice?

My mother is in hospital after a fall / break and I'm unsure what to do. At the moment she's safe in hospital but they want to send her home.

I have several options but don't know which one to take. I should mention that she lives with my brother who cooks for her when he's home, but doesn't clean or pay any bills. He's just got a job which is possibly why she fell, as she was left a lone for a few hours. We had home help but inbetween visits she fell and broke her arm.

Here are the options:

1. Hire a person who can sit with her while my brother goes to work. I've recently found someone who lives nearby and can be available as and when. She's a friend of a friend and is reliable / experienced and less expensive than a live-in person.


2. Pay my brother to stay off work . He just suggested this. However I'm concerned about this as in the past he hasn't proved himself exactly diligent with regards to her care. When it comes to cleaning / washing / medicines / finance he's not interested. He's a bloke. I'm worried if I say yes to his being paid he'll go out from time to time and leave her alone at risk of falling again. Hence why I'd prefer to pay someone to be there.

3. Pay a live-in carer from a local agency. Which means I'll feel completely secure, even though I suspect both my mother and brother won't like it. But it will guarantee her safety till her cast comes off in 5 or so week's time.

4. Rely on social services 4 visits a day care package. Is that any good? Or do they fly in for 10 minutes then leave. Mum could easily fall down the stairs in between visits. Do you have experience of this? No one from social services with experience of falls / people with alzheimers has been in touch because of the holidays.

5. A ward sister suggested respite care saying I should start to think 'LONG TERM', which makes the most sense, but a senior OT said she'd go downhill mentally fast if I put her in a home (she's always been afraid of it). And the guilt I feel about that option is all consuming.

I'm at my wits end about what to do. Everyone I talk to offers different advice.

I should mention that giving up work isn't an option for me. I need to work as I have a mortgage etc. Also she isn't very nice to me when I'm around for any length of time. If I lived with her I'd end up jumping in front of a train.

Anyway, long rambling message, I know. Any advice would be much appreciated. I'm driving myself crazy.

By the way the hospital think she's fine to go home of the strength of a 5 minutes test on the stairs when two 12 year olds told her what to do and where to grip. They seem totally unaware of the fact she forgets everything you tell her 5 minutes later. Who exactly do I turn to for advice?

xx

 

[Sue J]

Depends where you are but some councils offer a 6 week reablement scheme post hospital discharge, don't know what it entails but sounds like its worth checking.

You could also try Age UK and request same person

Sounds like it best to avoid your brother being the 'carer' but good to keep him involved with ongoing support of your Mother and you.

All the best, hope you find something that works
Sue

 

[katiebell]

Thanks Sue

Depends where you are but some councils offer a 6 week reablement scheme post hospital discharge, don't know what it entails but sounds like its worth checking.

You could also try Age UK and request same person

Sounds like it best to avoid your brother being the 'carer' but good to keep him involved with ongoing support of your Mother and you.

All the best, hope you find something that works
Sue

Thanks. Any word of advice is much appreciated. I opted for respite care for a bit as home with the stairs wasn't an option. And I couldn't get a live-in carer. All the agencies refused to send profiles. I actually turned up to meet one carer who didn't show up!

 

[katiebell]

Not sure whether this will help, but if have a Centre for Independent Living close to you, they may be able to help with a contract of sorts. I know they can help when someone is thinking of employing carers. Just 'google' Centre for Independent Living and your town or county, and you should get what you are looking for. Good luck.

Thanks. I'll call them tomorrow.

 

[halojones]

If I was you I would go for the option of the local home help, she will be able to build a relationship with your mum, and yourself..she will be local,reliable and hopefully a bit flexible(my mum was a home help, and it worked really well for her ladies)...As for your brother he should be doing the nescessary, but is obviously unwilling and incapable..Its not an excuse that he is a man, as a lot of men do a lot of caring with all that it involves...Some people just cannot do the right thing, I have 3sisters who are all completely useless and unwilling to do the caring of our mum...I wish you all the best with finding a solution to your problems ..xxx

 

[katiebell]

Thanks. I opted for respite care at a lovely brand new home, but she's coming home tomorrow as the hand is much better. I'm going to take a week off work and try and sort things out during the rest of the week.

If I was you I would go for the option of the local home help, she will be able to build a relationship with your mum, and yourself..she will be local,reliable and hopefully a bit flexible(my mum was a home help, and it worked really well for her ladies)...As for your brother he should be doing the nescessary, but is obviously unwilling and incapable..Its not an excuse that he is a man, as a lot of men do a lot of caring with all that it involves...Some people just cannot do the right thing, I have 3sisters who are all completely useless and unwilling to do the caring of our mum...I wish you all the best with finding a solution to your problems ..xxx

 

[katiebell]

Thanks. I opted for respite care at a lovely brand new home, but she's coming home tomorrow as the hand is much better. I'm going to take a week off work and try and sort things out during the rest of the week.

So sorry to hear about your sisters. Someone told me to step back and let my brother step forward, but it wasn't a magic pill. I have got better at asking him nicely to do things however. Even though they get half done it's better than the way things were before. Good luck to you too...