need some advice

[bonner]

my mum as just gone into a nursing home and when i visit her,
she ask me the same things when am i coming home, i dont know what to say.
why am i here and cant i come home with you? I dont like it here. Does anyone else
get this and what can i say to my mum so it wont upset her?. His there a right or wrong answer im just not very good at this.

 

[London girl]

my mum as just gone into a nursing home and when i visit her,
she ask me the same things when am i coming home, i dont know what to say.
why am i here and cant i come home with you? I dont like it here. Does anyone else
get this and what can i say to my mum so it wont upset her?. His there a right or wrong answer im just not very good at this.

I don't think there is a right or wrong - say whatever makes your mum feel better. I have noticed that the staff at my mum's care home tend to say why don't you go home later etc

 

[jaymor]

Try telling your Mum that the doctor will decide when she can go home. She needs to get her strength up etc.

It takes a while to get used to life in a care home. Hopefully once she acclimatises and becomes familiar with the routine she will settle more. Give her time and she will make friends and enjoy the company.

Jay

 

[bonner]

repeats her self

Try telling your Mum that the doctor will decide when she can go home. She needs to get her strength up etc.

It takes a while to get used to life in a care home. Hopefully once she acclimatises and becomes familiar with the routine she will settle more. Give her time and she will make friends and enjoy the company.

Jay

I do say that to her,but she repeats her self, its the same old record. I feel guilty its like I put my mum in a nursing home. I hope she don't end up hating me I love her to bits. Its so heart breaking when I see mum like this. She does get upset its like its all thought and she hit me in the face and punched me.

 

[canary]

If she keeps asking the same question then just keep giving the same answer.
It might be interesting to know what home she wants to go back to. Mum kept saying that even when she was in her own home. I asked what her home was like and it turned out to be her childhood home - no way could she go back there.
Someone said to me that when people with dementia ask to go "home" it often means that they want to go somewhere that they feel safe. I guess your mum just hasnt settled yet - it can take a couple of weeks or more.

My mum is content in her CH now and has made some friends. She thinks that the CH is her home and says things like "what are all these chairs doing in my lounge?" You have to laugh.