Need Some Advice Please

[leicester61]

Hi Everyone.
My husband was diagnosed with AZ about 3 1/2 4 yrs ago, he is currently working part time doing a job that has been created for him by his boss ( very good boss). However I have noticed over the last six months that this is becoming a struggle but he does not want to leave, except hes just called me now to tell me that he burst into tears at work, fortunately in front of his boss, he says he dosnt know why he started crying, it took me a great deal of guessing, and helping him just to get that info from him so i didnt want to push him anymore, ( hopefully will find out more when i pick him up later) Anyway what im asking is do you think its time maybe to discourage him working, i really want him to keep going as it gives him a sense of purpose and it makes him feel wanted, its a really hard one but i know the few bloke he works with really dont have an understanding of what is going on with him so i dont think they will be very sympathetic ( i know this because of comments theyve made in the past). His boss is really amazing but i dont think the other lads like the fact that my OH gets special treatment. It feels like a massive dilemma to me and i know its nothing like what a lot of you are going through i just feel a bit lost with this one
thankyou for listening/reading

 

[marionq]

Could he perhaps reduce the hours of work again gradually working his way towards retiring totally? Great boss by the way. Obviously a good human and a sympathetic man.

 

[Tin]

Can you not talk to the other lads, sounds like they need some educating about Dementia after all it could happen to a member of their own family any time and ignorance is no excuse. Their behaviour just smacks a little like work place bullying, I know that's probably not the right word but cannot think of any other way to state it. Well done to Employer for doing everything possible to enable your husband to keep working, shame on the lads though.

 

[Slugsta]

Is it worth having a chat with the boss?

 

[leicester61]

Thank u so much for your replies and suggestions, I've spoken to his boss, again he's been amazing, he'd given oh a job to do, a more complex one as he thought oh was getting bored, however oh panicked and so got emotional, oh's boss told him don't worry it's fine and told him to leave it, he's a blinking good bloke that's for sure, apparently the other blokes are struggling a bit with my oh, so I tried (tactfully) and said maybe they could do with someone (me) explaining to them that it's not just about forgetting things, anyway got oh home and he's forgotten mostly what happened and why it happened !!!! And then we found a young girl on the road who had had a epileptic fit so got involved with sorting that out, but then oh did no more than get in the car and drive it into the close and park up, his licence was taken away from him several months ago, but I'm going to leave that one and just make sure he's not able to do that again. WHAT a day lol. Thank you so much again though I really appreciate your help xx

 

[Beannie]

Hi Everyone.
My husband was diagnosed with AZ about 3 1/2 4 yrs ago, he is currently working part time doing a job that has been created for him by his boss ( very good boss). However I have noticed over the last six months that this is becoming a struggle but he does not want to leave, except hes just called me now to tell me that he burst into tears at work, fortunately in front of his boss, he says he dosnt know why he started crying, it took me a great deal of guessing, and helping him just to get that info from him so i didnt want to push him anymore, ( hopefully will find out more when i pick him up later) Anyway what im asking is do you think its time maybe to discourage him working, i really want him to keep going as it gives him a sense of purpose and it makes him feel wanted, its a really hard one but i know the few bloke he works with really dont have an understanding of what is going on with him so i dont think they will be very sympathetic ( i know this because of comments theyve made in the past). His boss is really amazing but i dont think the other lads like the fact that my OH gets special treatment. It feels like a massive dilemma to me and i know its nothing like what a lot of you are going through i just feel a bit lost with this one
thankyou for listening/reading

Hi Leicester 61,

My husband was in a similar position to yours , he worked for a large Retail Company and he spoke to his Line Manager about the digs and sometimes snide remarks others were making, as he needed help sometimes with his work and timeout, having been before diagnosis, more than capable of doing his job. His Line Manager took it seriously and asked my husband to explain to these people what it was like having AD (he also has Parkinsons Disease) and I have to say they were much more sympathetic afterwards. I think sometimes it is peoples ignorance of the disease and they don't know what to do or say. Hope you and your husband have a positive result. Please let us know how it goes.

 

[leicester61]

Hi Leicester 61,

My husband was in a similar position to yours , he worked for a large Retail Company and he spoke to his Line Manager about the digs and sometimes snide remarks others were making, as he needed help sometimes with his work and timeout, having been before diagnosis, more than capable of doing his job. His Line Manager took it seriously and asked my husband to explain to these people what it was like having AD (he also has Parkinsons Disease) and I have to say they were much more sympathetic afterwards. I think sometimes it is peoples ignorance of the disease and they don't know what to do or say. Hope you and your husband have a positive result. Please let us know how it goes.

Hi Beannie
I would really like to stand in front of them and give them a run down of how it is for him and me to be honest, I am going to suggest it to his boss, and the main reason i want to do it is because there have been occasions when i know they are taking the proverbial out of him and have even excluded him from ' banter ' on occasions. It makes me so angry that i have nearly got out of the car to confront them, the trouble is my oh gets very agitated and upset if he sees me upset so i tend to leave my rants for my sister (bless her) I have become an actress worthy of an oscar lol. The main thing on this occasion is that his boss has made it quite clear that he will do whatever it takes to keep oh there which i am very grateful for, not only for my oh but financially too, i know thats not the most important thing but its a big worry when were nowhere near retiring and still have a mortgage etc, mind you im not bothered if we have to sell and rent instead, i just want to keep him as happy as possible for as long as possible. Once again thankyou, and everyone else that helped. take care
suzanne xx

 

[leicester61]

Could he perhaps reduce the hours of work again gradually working his way towards retiring totally? Great boss by the way. Obviously a good human and a sympathetic man.

Hi Marionq
thank you for your reply, i think a reduction will probably be the next thing. He is a good man that is true
take care
suzanne

 

[leicester61]

Can you not talk to the other lads, sounds like they need some educating about Dementia after all it could happen to a member of their own family any time and ignorance is no excuse. Their behaviour just smacks a little like work place bullying, I know that's probably not the right word but cannot think of any other way to state it. Well done to Employer for doing everything possible to enable your husband to keep working, shame on the lads though.

Hi Tin
I think your right I just need to pick my moment, I might just attend the christmas do this year and have a quiet word in their shell likes lol !!!!!! No best not as it would be bacardi fuelled lol
Take care
suzanne xx

 

[leicester61]

Is it worth having a chat with the boss?

Hi Slugsta
Thats exactly what I did, and he was brilliant
Take care
suzanne xx