Thought mum was dying this morning and got doctor, in the wait, preformed a miracle with nebulisers, physiotherapy and heart spray and yet again brought old Lazuras back.
Was scundered when doc arrived and Perky was singing like bird about how lovely the doc looked etc..
Another 2 week course of turbo strength antibiotics issued. Doc said I really needed some respite, promptly threw a rope over the rafters but found I hadn't actually enough strength to hang myself, so I attempted death by chocolate instead. Didn't help the stomach!
Still no word on respite and I'm too effing tired to chase them. They of course know this. Am going to contact Alz helpline tomorrow and see what the bloody hell I'm entitiled to? Am I supposed to go like this until certain death.
Haven't had a holiday in 10 years and haven't actually been out socially in 5 since the onset of panic and mum's A/D.
Now with mum ill again can I even think about putting her in respite till she's better (joke, when are they ever better?)
Thanks for your concern Portia, that's a terrible tale you told. But you walked away with head held high. I congratulate you, you're a hero, and a lovely big hearted joker to boot!
CPN just phoned, as usual got the whole speel about care manager getting in touch with residential home boss whom is on a course but message left for her, blah, blah, blah.
Told CPN I am mentally and physically about to collapse, she said well if that happens your mum will get an emergency placement somewhere that you wouldn't choose.
What was that a threat? You'd better not collapse or mum will suffer?
I told her that it shouldn't come to that as there's bound to be resources to back me up before I fall. "Yeah" was her helpful reply, she is now off til Monday. She's just back from a week's holiday last week!
I'm starting to understand why people go on violent sprees and then the neighbours say, "They were such a quiet person"
This is what bloody happens to quiet people, you're shafted so many times for being nice and non confrontational you're driven to finally kick someone up the M1.
Does everyone else have this much bother getting respite? Surely there are people much more ill than my mother whom get respite care? Is this CPN just a complete ******?
I know of a place whom might take her but it is a living hell hole for the very far gone and I fear that might actually kill her.
Is everyone sick of listening to me now. Sorry guys I'm just venting some steam. I can't do it anywhere else. You are the only ones whom understand.
Scundered! What a brilliant word! Never heard it but will be my word of the week!
Gruesome news you have! if there is gonna be a hangin' it ain't gonna be your neck, me and my posse will make sure of that! We will find better and more scunderingly enjoyable means, you have already made a start with the choc. Keep your chins up!
Don't be chasing anybody save your effing energy for the ho down!
Miracles can happen, you proved that this morning during your encounter with Lazarus, it's GOT to be your turn next.
Thanks for the support. Spoke to the GP yesterday and got her out to day, she says there's just no help out there and it all comes down to funding at the end of the day. I can't fault her as a GP, or as a person, she has always been lovely to me and mum, and has done things above and beyond the call of duty.
Portia, scundered is an Irish expression, am from Belfast meself, so I am.
Have abondoned all hope and hit the bottle. Don't panic, it's Gaviscon Advance. Yum!
How are you two getting on anyway? Both ok with your lot?
As we say here in Ireland, may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're gone.
I'm scundered you are feeling we're fed up with you! It's really one of the best ways to help divert some of your angst. Don't forget that while you are posting you're helping me, and others, in ways that may not seem obvious to you. I was reading through my very first posting and the subsequent posts taking me down gentler, funny paths and it is obvious to me just how much it helped to put things in context - lthough others may secretely concur I am still a master HATTER.
You need to look at Mum's finances, if you are talking funding anything. Is there money in bank accounts somewhere? Well if so, use it. If money is tied up in property, look at that.
If the only way to get relief for you is to spend your Mum's vast wealth, then do it - you are more important than lucre.
If your Mum has no dosh, then my understanding that this is the time when Tony Blair steps in and says, with a characteristic charismatic grin "we have a wonderful national health service that will help you. Especially since I have taken my family out of it [I'm waiting to be sued about that]" Of course the Deputy PM will then come in and give you one to the jaw.
You need to understand Mum's resources.
Best of luck.
I'm as fine as is likely. Jan near broke both me thumbs this afternoon but the good news is I escaped concussion. She is lovely and so brave.
Scarlett, Shame on ya! Shouldn't you be putting something more patriotic down ya trunk - like a bottle or two of Jamesons!
I spent a glorious time in Belfast some years ago, I was supposed to be working but that was a minor inconvenience. I stayed in the Culloden Hotel in Holywood - Ive still got the brochure. What a place is Belfast and the surrounding countryside and wonderful folks! People should be told.
Me and the J have had a fairly good day; he has finally got confirmation of his new job, the one he wanted and deserves. Living with me and the accompanying histrionics, he needs all the joy he can get.
Finances. Could you please have a very loud word with the Pater on my behalf. I've been trying to get him to see a solicitor since well before Mum was admitted to hospital, to shore things up properly for them both. He agreed today to make an appointment...................following conversation with another chap he has met through a local carer support group he has taken to visiting. Would only listen to another man! I'm delighted he is attending these meetings, it's getting him out of the house and already he's offering help where he can. There's hope for us yet.
As a daughter I feel quite uncomfortable about chivvying him in this lest it be seen as feathering my own nest, if you understand what I mean. I just don't want any more future hassle when it can be avoided.
I've just spent a very interesting morning having a Carer's Assessment with an extremely helpful lady from our local Social Care Team. This team is actually part of the SS, which is pretty amazing given the level of help and assistance I received today.
Several points came up which will be of great help to you I think - hence the speedy post now.
The Social Care Team exist to provide assistance solely for carers. They do so in a number of ways which are directly and indirectly financially based.
Firstly, there is a financial assessment to ascertain whether the carer is eligible for direct financial assistance in the form of fortnightly payments. This is means tested solely on the individual's finances, not on one's parents' financial status.
Secondly, help is provided by way of provision of an annual supply of Carer's Vouchers, which is based on the level of required support, rather than one's private financial situation. The maximum amount of vouchers awarded are at a value of approx £2000 per annum. These vouchers can then be redeemed for various services, such as respite care for AD sufferers, Agency Care Assistance, travel expenses, etc. A list of registered bodies that will accept the vouchers is posted on your local County Council Website.
So Magic, what you need to do is to ring your local Dept of Social Security and your local County Council Social Care Team and arrange for a Carer's Assessment pronto. You should explain the urgency of your situation and I'm hopeful that a local rep will arrive very rapidly. There is a large form to be completed [isn't there always?] but you can do that on the spot with the rep.
My assessment this morning resolved some burning issues, the major one being that I have absolutely NO personal money in the UK and had previously been refused a Carer's Allowance on the grounds that I am technically a non-resident. That is to be dealt with immediately on the grounds that it was 'ridiculous to suppose that I could exist on fresh air'. I have also been granted as many Carer Vouchers that this lady can lay her hands on at present, to assist me when Carole & Glyn go on a fortnight's leave at the end of September.
After our meeting, I explained a bit about my association with the AD Society and outlined your case [naming no names, of course]. The rep was appalled at your CPN's reaction and said that your situation would be deemed as an 'extreme emergency' and that you should contact your Social Care Team immediately.
Do hope this will be of help to you.
Chin up Magic - help is on the way by the sound of things.
You have been really helpful and it's so nice of you to think of me when you're going through so much yourself. You and Chesca have been real diamonds, not to mention all the rest of the gang on this little life saving site.
I HAVE GOT RESPITE. YIPPEE. Imagine knickers been thrown in the air etc.
Apparantly there won't be a problem I can take mum when it suits, I was thinking Monday as that will give me time to organise clothes, medications etc and give her new supper strength antibiotics time to kick in.
No thanks to the CPN whom is off on her long weekend. I think this woman does me more harm than good with her sarcastic comments most of the time.
I know it was down to the physio whom was so concerned about me she went and saw the relevent people herself and pushed til I got an answer.
The woman is an angel!
Let's hope all goes well and mum doesn't fall ill again over the weekend.
Yes Jude, I will see about a carer's assessment. I have heard something about it before but didn't think it would be of much help for me as I usually get turned down for everything.
Made a phone call to the local Alz Org here and got the best advice ever!
Was told whom to go to for carer's assessment and how I might speed up the walk in shower and through the floor lift my mother so desperately needs and has needed for years.
Also cleared up a few issues on the CPN ( she's totally irrelevent except where mum's medication is concerned, this I do a lot of hit and miss trials with myself and mum has never been reviewed by her. She said last week she was meant to do a review of mum "but anyhow....." and so it was left)
Feel so much better now I have new sources of info to explore.
Have to leave mum in monday for respite on the understanding I visit to administer oxygen everyday and that if she is unsettled I have to take her out. Let's face it guys as Mr Spock would say," it's respite Jim, but not as we know it!"
BRILLIANT NEWS...!! You've made my day and also the weekend too.
Just one little point - get in front of a mirror and start saying 'Everything I do and want works out perfectly'. None of this old guilt motivating stuff about failure [everything goes wrong for me, etc]. You can chuck that out of the window with the flying knickers...
As for certain CPN's that we won't mention... I'm working on enforced carer positions for them in Lock Up EMI Units for the duration of their retirements. That should sort them out!
Love your position on the CPNs Jude, am in total support of lock up EMI units for them, especially as carers. When the CPN had my mum put in an EMI unit for "drug trials" and mum got a mysterious black eye that no one knew anything about, she laughed and said she thought mum had gone 10 rounds with Mike Tyson. Such a sympathetic and understanding soul, I think a part time job at the Samaritans might be on the cards for her, failing that The Gestapo!