To preface this, I need to explain that I am my Mum's only caregiver. I have no siblings and Mum absolutely refuses to have strangers in to help.
Over 30 years ago, when my Dad was first diagnosed with cancer, Mum didn't have dementia. She was in her right mind, and she stated that if Dad died, she was going to move far away and didn't care anything about me or if she ever saw me again. This wasn't news to me, as we'd never been friends. Dad survived that first round with cancer and my parents didn't move away. I dreaded the day, however, when Dad would pass and leave me alone to care for Mum.
That day came in January of this year. Sure enough, Mum has been getting aggressive, has told me to "shut up" in front of other people when we aren't arguing. She's lashed out at me with her walking stick in public when I'm trying to assist her. Plus, she's been "threatening" to move away to be closer to family (who are not my friends). She expects me to manage her household, finances etc. even tho she will be too far away for me to commute to her place more than once a month at most.
Does anyone else out there have a terrible relationship with the person they're caring for, which goes way back? Somehow, I just know that not all of the grief I'm being put thru is due to dementia. Some of it is being done on purpose and out of spite.
Over 30 years ago, when my Dad was first diagnosed with cancer, Mum didn't have dementia. She was in her right mind, and she stated that if Dad died, she was going to move far away and didn't care anything about me or if she ever saw me again. This wasn't news to me, as we'd never been friends. Dad survived that first round with cancer and my parents didn't move away. I dreaded the day, however, when Dad would pass and leave me alone to care for Mum.
That day came in January of this year. Sure enough, Mum has been getting aggressive, has told me to "shut up" in front of other people when we aren't arguing. She's lashed out at me with her walking stick in public when I'm trying to assist her. Plus, she's been "threatening" to move away to be closer to family (who are not my friends). She expects me to manage her household, finances etc. even tho she will be too far away for me to commute to her place more than once a month at most.
Does anyone else out there have a terrible relationship with the person they're caring for, which goes way back? Somehow, I just know that not all of the grief I'm being put thru is due to dementia. Some of it is being done on purpose and out of spite.