To those that have been kind enough to worry about me...I am still around and i do check the site & obviously my Inbox...I just don't seem to have much to say of late except that...this disease sucks. I imagine its somewhat like running a marathon...at the moment I appear to be in the zone and am trying to avoid too much distraction. Don't want to think about how hard it all is, don't want to wonder if I can keep going, don't want to think. As a result I am finding that I am not finding it too hard at present. (touchwood) I know in reality its just as hard, but somehow I seem to have found a quiet spot in my head...I don't want to read too much on here, nor write too much, because I fear that will kick start all my emotions and pain again. So I am running this race at the moment, quietly quietly, all I can hear is my own footsteps on the bitumen, and my eyes are on the road just in front of me...not looking to the left or right, nor thinking about where the finish line is. Ignoring the pain in my body that I know would be there if I allowed myself to really look inside. So don't worry about me, I'm fine...Dad's **** as always, but I suspect he is in the zone at the moment too...shhhhhh, if we are really quiet, maybe the disease will even forget we are here, and go somewhere else to play. I'll keep in touch, and I'm sure that as soon as something dramatic happens, or even if the weather changes, I'll be back again...but while this quiet time is here, I will allow myself to melt into it, and go softly, softly for a while. Best wishes to all, hope you can find the zone for a bit too, because its a bit of a relief...I think if you look for it, its very near that place they call denial!