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Nasty neighbour

Jaded'n'faded

Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
1,347
0
High Peak
Throwing water on anyone is an assault at common law technically known as "common assault" Anyone convicted can be bound over to keep the peace so that if it recurs they can be taken back to court and dealt with more severely. If the water causes injury there could be a crime of causing actual bodily harm (ABH in cop speak!). You should definitely report the matter to your local police. At the very least I would hope they would go round and "give words of advice (more cop-speak).
But surely, the OP's mum persistently going into the neighbour's garden when she has been asked not to is effectively trespassing? So the police would be dealing with one 'crime' and then another in retaliation. And presumably having dementia is no defence.

I'm sure the police could 'have a few words' with the lady but she isn't going to remember or change her behaviour. Speaking to the neighbour would definitely be more useful as the police could tell him to either phone them or social services to deal with it rather than him taking his own water-throwing action - which isn't helping anyone.

OP's mum may not be ready for a care home right now but there are definitely warning signs here. Getting her 'on the radar' with both police ans SS will help in terms of evidence of her needs when the time comes.
 

MartinWL

Registered User
Jun 12, 2020
720
0
But surely, the OP's mum persistently going into the neighbour's garden when she has been asked not to is effectively trespassing? So the police would be dealing with one 'crime' and then another in retaliation. And presumably having dementia is no defence.

I'm sure the police could 'have a few words' with the lady but she isn't going to remember or change her behaviour. Speaking to the neighbour would definitely be more useful as the police could tell him to either phone them or social services to deal with it rather than him taking his own water-throwing action - which isn't helping anyone.

OP's mum may not be ready for a care home right now but there are definitely warning signs here. Getting her 'on the radar' with both police ans SS will help in terms of evidence of her needs when the time comes.
Trespass in these circumstances is not a crime. It it were it would be impossible to deliver parcels to houses without prior permission. There might be civil legal action that the neighbour could take but it would most probably be a disproportionate thing to do.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
14,915
0
South coast
While mum was living at home the woman across the road reported her to the police because she said mum was harassing her and it all got a bit nasty. The police came and spoke to mum, but of course it didnt make the slightest bit of difference because mum forgot everything about their visit. I could almost foresee a restraining order being issued!
Fortunately mum moved into a care home soon after.

I do think there is a big difference between a postman (who has implicit permission to be on your property in order to deliver post) and someone who you have already told that you do not want them on your property.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
72,955
0
Kent
My husband used to knock next door to ask them to find an estate agent for him because he wanted to sell our house and return to Manchester, where he thought he would find his family.

The neighbours were very kind and spent time trying to reassure him but of course it was useless.

I eventually asked my neighbours not to answer the door to my husband and ignore him. It upset them to do this but it worked and my husband stopped knocking on their door.

Do you think your neighbours could be persuaded to ignore your mother @Suesue
 

Rosettastone57

Registered User
Oct 27, 2016
1,487
0
I was on the receiving end of harassment from our neighbour who had dementia. As my mother in law had dementia I was familiar with the behaviours. But even we as a household found it disturbing to have the neighbour at the door at all hours, including late at night trying to get our attention . We just didn't answer the door. Eventually she used to just wander off . My husband phoned the police on a couple of occasions about it to get her on social services radar . Her family were aware of the situation and eventually they moved her nearer to them to a care home.
 

blackmortimer

Registered User
Jan 2, 2021
92
0
But surely, the OP's mum persistently going into the neighbour's garden when she has been asked not to is effectively trespassing? So the police would be dealing with one 'crime' and then another in retaliation. And presumably having dementia is no defence.

I'm sure the police could 'have a few words' with the lady but she isn't going to remember or change her behaviour. Speaking to the neighbour would definitely be more useful as the police could tell him to either phone them or social services to deal with it rather than him taking his own water-throwing action - which isn't helping anyone.

OP's mum may not be ready for a care home right now but there are definitely warning signs here. Getting her 'on the radar' with both police ans SS will help in terms of evidence of her needs when the time comes.
Wise words @Jaded'n'faded although "simple" i.e. non-aggravated trespass is not a crime. I think getting the situation on record particularly with SS is the way to go.
 

Rushdenboy

Registered User
Nov 17, 2020
16
0
He should not throw water over her, but I can sort of see his point of view, His son will undoubtedly be shielding and I shouldnt think that your mum has any idea about socially distancing. He may well have got to the end of his tether.

You are not going to to be able to stop your mum going over there. Whatever anyone says she will not remember. If you write it down, she will ignore it. She will forget the anger on the part of the neighbour and even getting water thrown over her, five minutes later she will have no idea why she is wet. I think the situation will only escalate.

Once people with dementia get to the stage of annoying the neighbours they are usually pretty advanced. Mum got to the stage where the woman across the road from her contacted the police because she said mum was harassing her and mum started wandering the streets at night banging on neighbours doors. I was told about this by the neighbours and asked to make her stop - which was, of course, impossible. Im afraid it was not long after that she needed to move into a care home in order to keep her safe.
Report him to the Police its assault