Can I rant?
Dear carer, yes I know you've known my nan for a whole eight months, and I'm sure you do care about her, maybe even love her. But when I tell you she would be horrified that I am sitting by her bed watching her die, please accept that as the truth. I have known her for my whole 47 years, and not once in that time did she spend any time with the dying, she was a great believer in saying your peice and leaving them to it. And no she wouldn't like me to tell her about my day, she never wanted to hear it before so why should now be any different.
And no I wouldn't enjoy going home and having a facial or a large glass of wine. I know you mean well but please leave us both in peace for a few hours. I can cope, I do not need your constant unnecessary intrusions. If you need to do mouthcare or reposition her then please say so, other wise please give us a bit more space.
Today I'm going to tally how many people pop in 'just to check'. It feels like she is an exhibit!
Thinking of you and your Nan, sadly it seems to me that these carers want to hover around when someone is dying but when you needed their help when they could have made a difference it is never forthcoming because they are too busy. I hope they leave you both in peace, take care xx
morning at wits end
thinking of you today - and wishing you the peace and quiet you want for you and your nanna
at the risk of being one of those bothering you - do you have a chance to print out your post and hand it to the manager of the home - nothing you have written is unkind- your wishes should be respected
Thank you ladies. Today has been better. There is a particular old fashioned nurse at the home who I like, who I think has said something, as the intrusions were a lot less today. No one came in who didn't have something to do or ask.
A week ago today I rushed to the NH as Nan was on her last hours. One week later and we are still here. She has consumed nothing since last thursday, and is now just skin and bone, mostly unconscious, but unhappy when repositioned.
I'm so tired, I've spent hours every day with her, told her it's Ok to go, prayed to a God I dont believe in and begged my late mother to come and sort it out.
Yet she still carries on. She must have the strongest will of anyone I have ever met.