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Nanna and her broken pelvis

at wits end

Registered User
Nov 9, 2012
753
East Anglia
Can I rant?
Dear carer, yes I know you've known my nan for a whole eight months, and I'm sure you do care about her, maybe even love her. But when I tell you she would be horrified that I am sitting by her bed watching her die, please accept that as the truth. I have known her for my whole 47 years, and not once in that time did she spend any time with the dying, she was a great believer in saying your peice and leaving them to it. And no she wouldn't like me to tell her about my day, she never wanted to hear it before so why should now be any different.
And no I wouldn't enjoy going home and having a facial or a large glass of wine. I know you mean well but please leave us both in peace for a few hours. I can cope, I do not need your constant unnecessary intrusions. If you need to do mouthcare or reposition her then please say so, other wise please give us a bit more space.
Today I'm going to tally how many people pop in 'just to check'. It feels like she is an exhibit!
 

angecmc

Registered User
Dec 25, 2012
2,108
hertfordshire
Thinking of you and your Nan, sadly it seems to me that these carers want to hover around when someone is dying but when you needed their help when they could have made a difference it is never forthcoming because they are too busy. I hope they leave you both in peace, take care xx

Ange
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,258
Yorkshire
morning at wits end
thinking of you today - and wishing you the peace and quiet you want for you and your nanna

rant away


at the risk of being one of those bothering you - do you have a chance to print out your post and hand it to the manager of the home - nothing you have written is unkind- your wishes should be respected
 

at wits end

Registered User
Nov 9, 2012
753
East Anglia
Thank you ladies. Today has been better. There is a particular old fashioned nurse at the home who I like, who I think has said something, as the intrusions were a lot less today. No one came in who didn't have something to do or ask.
 

at wits end

Registered User
Nov 9, 2012
753
East Anglia
A week ago today I rushed to the NH as Nan was on her last hours. One week later and we are still here. She has consumed nothing since last thursday, and is now just skin and bone, mostly unconscious, but unhappy when repositioned.

I'm so tired, I've spent hours every day with her, told her it's Ok to go, prayed to a God I dont believe in and begged my late mother to come and sort it out.

Yet she still carries on. She must have the strongest will of anyone I have ever met.
 

2jays

Registered User
Jun 4, 2010
11,598
West Midlands
xxxxxx

Words are difficult to find to "make it better" for you

Just as you decide not to visit, she may slip away on that day..... Or she might not. It's the uncertainty for you I wish I could find words and help you

Just know I'm thinking and have been thinking of you and have been reading when you post. xxxxzx


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
 

at wits end

Registered User
Nov 9, 2012
753
East Anglia
Nanna passed away yesterday evening at about 6. I was blessed to have been by her side as she went. A lady who died as she had lived, on her own terms.
 

sleepless

Registered User
Feb 19, 2010
3,223
The Sweet North
A prayer answered, your Mum and gran reunited in peace.
I hope you can now rest yourself, and wish you comfort in your loss, and the strength to carry you through the days to come.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,425
South coast
Im glad you were there
The long vigil is hard, but it is over now - she is at rest. See if you can get some rest now too.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,258
Yorkshire
My condolences at wits end
what a strong woman your nanna was - a trait you have clearly inherited from her
may she now rest in Peace
and may you live with peace of mind