Nana at EOL

[My beautiful nana pat]

Hi everyone,
My name is Tasmin and I’m the granddaughter of a wonderful nana who has been the best person in my life since born. My beautiful nana is 79 and has sadly had dementia for 6 years now. Just recently, she went into a residential home, after my wonderful grandad (94) was unable to provide the care any longer (he’s done amazing for all these years and such a wonderful person). 8 weeks ago, when nana went in, things were gradually getting worse. A week last Friday the home rang and said to my mother they were concerned about my nana as she’d gone quite poorly quickly. Nana went to hospital for them to find she had severe pneumonia, this was so scary (I’d done a lot of reading and tried to prepare myself) nana had a course of antibiotics that sadly didn’t work, and kept pulling all her IV drips out etc. 3 days ago, doctor rang mum and said no more drips which would mean no more fluid (she hasnt eaten or drank for about 2 weeks now as she kept pushing food away and drinking little). Nana is now being cared for day to day without any antibiotics or anything. She has sores in her mouth and very dry where she’s having no fluid as she would choke
It’s a matter of days I think Bampa is heartbroken, we all are. I want it over for her I really do. I went to visit today and she did look beautiful, her skin was immaculate and so silky, however you could hear the fluid on her lungs rattling as she breathed xx I am ready for what’s to come and just don’t want it dragging on for her x she’s been the best grandmother anyone could ever ask for, she really has. I love her so so dearly xx
I just want to know that she won’t be in any pain and drift peacefully to the lord xx she’s in no discomfort or pain at present and after visiting I am relieved xx
I just want this over for her so she can grow her beautiful wings and be with god x her 80th is on Thursday and I just don’t know if she will be here then xx
No questions, just wanted to write out what’s going on to let it sink in x

 

[CAL Y]

Hello Tasmin. You are doing exactly the right thing letting it all out on here. I have to say I admire your courage.
I lost my husband 3 days ago and have always found this page to be very supportive.
Please keep posting your thought.

 

[My beautiful nana pat]

Hello Tasmin. You are doing exactly the right thing letting it all out on here. I have to say I admire your courage.
I lost my husband 3 days ago and have always found this page to be very supportive.
Please keep posting your thought.

Hello, I am so, so sorry to hear your sad news xx I am really sorry for the loss and I hope you’ll be okay as time goes on
I feel I need to “talk” on here x I lost my other nan 2 years ago (in 9 days to be precise) to secondary liver cancer and find I am stronger this time as I know what to expect, however still not easy xx

I hope your looking after yourself xxx

 

[LynneMcV]

It's such a horrible time to go through @My beautiful nana pat - I am glad that you have seen for yourself that she is not in pain as that in itself brings comfort and relief to those left behind and grieving. Despite that, losing a loved one is such a traumatic time and my thoughts are with you and your family. You will receive a lot of support here so do keep posting.

@CAL Y my sincere condolences on your loss, I am glad that you have found this forum supportive and I know that the support will be here whenever it's needed. Wishing you strength at this hard time.

 

[CAL Y]

Hello, I am so, so sorry to hear your sad news xx I am really sorry for the loss and I hope you’ll be okay as time goes on
I feel I need to “talk” on here x I lost my other nan 2 years ago (in 9 days to be precise) to secondary liver cancer and find I am stronger this time as I know what to expect, however still not easy xx

I hope your looking after yourself xxx

Thank you.

 

[MartinWL]

My mother is also receiving end of life care in a care home and she is a sorry sight to see, but we know that death cannot be put off for ever and want it to be a peaceful end. All you can do is try to comfort both her and other family members.

 

[canary]

((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))) @My beautiful nana pat
This twilight zone is difficult. You are into the last long vigil now.
The care home will make sure that she is not in pain by giving her injections, patches or a syringe driver so that she is comfortable and pain free when she passes.

When you visit, dont forget that even if she seems unresponsive she will still be able to hear, so talk and read to her. Im sure you have already said the important things - I love you, thank you and tell her it is alright to go. When mum was dying I was allowed to comb her hair, put moisturiser on her dry skin and wet her mouth with a little sponge, but this was pre-covid, so I dont know if you would be allowed, but you could ask.

Make sure you eat and sleep too
xxxxx

 

[CAL Y]

It's such a horrible time to go through @My beautiful nana pat - I am glad that you have seen for yourself that she is not in pain as that in itself brings comfort and relief to those left behind and grieving. Despite that, losing a loved one is such a traumatic time and my thoughts are with you and your family. You will receive a lot of support here so do keep posting.

@CAL Y my sincere condolences on your loss, I am glad that you have found this forum supportive and I know that the support will be here whenever it's needed. Wishing you strength at this hard time.

It's such a horrible time to go through @My beautiful nana pat - I am glad that you have seen for yourself that she is not in pain as that in itself brings comfort and relief to those left behind and grieving. Despite that, losing a loved one is such a traumatic time and my thoughts are with you and your family. You will receive a lot of support here so do keep posting.

@CAL Y my sincere condolences on your loss, I am glad that you have found this forum supportive and I know that the support will be here whenever it's needed. Wishing you strength at this hard time.

Thank you

 

[My beautiful nana pat]

Thank you everyone who has sent messages x I really appreciate it x nana is in hospital i the elderly/frail unit xx she was moved for the care home 2 weeks ago, when they thought something wasn’t right and wanted her to be checked in hospital (this is when we found she had severe pneumonia). I’ve been to see nana tonight, she is the same as yesterday, no changes. We’ve noticed that she keeps lifting her legs up and down all the time though, since being in bed and not being able to get up. What do you think this is? Is this pain or the dementia ?

 

[Linbrusco]

@My beautiful nana pat

Im so sorry about your Nana.
I lost my Mum to in March, due to pneumonia. She had only turned 80 , 2 weeks prior and had had Alzheimers for 8 yrs. My Dad then passed in June suddenly, he had Mixed Dementia.

My Mum lasted a week with no fluids/antiobiotics. Just a morphine syringe driver and medication to help with mucus secretions.
She too in the first few days before they gave her the syringe driver was moving her arms and legs alot. The Dr felt it was agitation/pain.
The morphine helped with this.

Wishing your Nana a peaceful passing x

 

[My beautiful nana pat]

Thank you, I am so sorry to hear of your losses, I hope you are okay.

They seem to think she’s not in pain as she’s been doing the tapping for quite a few weeks and normally can’t keep still however as she is bed bound now, thinking she’s doing the legs instead. She having no morphine or anything as they don’t think she needs it. They’ve given her medication through her subcutaneous line tonight to break down the mucus so they can suction it all.

Me mam and sister was there with her tonight and thought she had gone, she stopped breathing for about 20 seconds and then started again. X was scary but for some reason I felt at peace when I thought that was it?

 

[canary]

The way the breathing has gaps between breaths is called Chayne Stokes breathing and is a sign of the end. I dont think it will be much longer now
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

[My beautiful nana pat]

The way the breathing has gaps between breaths is called Chayne Stokes breathing and is a sign of the end. I dont think it will be much longer now
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))

Thank you for explaining this xx I did read this. It did only happen once so I don’t know X the waiting is the hardest bit x

 

[canary]

Thank you for explaining this xx I did read this. It did only happen once so I don’t know X the waiting is the hardest bit x

I know
((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
It will be soon

 

[My beautiful nana pat]

I know
((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
It will be soon

Went down there tonight, didn’t stay long as it was scary x her head right back sleeping, mouth wide open we noticed a syringe driver had been put in. When I asked they said it was little bit to help her if any pain ( nurse seen her for the first time today and said her tapping and agitation might be pain) she said the syringe driver also helps with secretion x
My nana turns 80 tomorrow, I want her wonderful god to take her on her birthday so she can relax at last and be with her lord she loves so dearly x

 

[canary]

My mum had a syringe driver to deliver pain medication and something to dry up the secretions. Its good that your nana is being kept pain-free and comfortable so that her passing will be peaceful. I know tomorrow will be difficult for you
xxxx

 

[My beautiful nana pat]

Nana passed away around 11:20pm this evening xx. Very peacefully xx so relieved for her x she’s at peace at last

 

[I thank you for the years]

@My beautiful nana pat

Sincere condolences to you and your family for your sad loss.
Keep taking comfort in the fact that your Nana is now at peace.
I know you will take good care of your wonderful granddad. Make sure you take good care of yourself as well.
Love and best wishes xx

 

[Izzy]

I’m so sorry for your loss @My beautiful nana pat. I’m glad your nana’s passing was peaceful. Wishing you and your grandad strength.

 

[Suzie B]

Nana passed away around 11:20pm this evening xx. Very peacefully xx so relieved for her x she’s at peace at last

So sorry for your loss. What a wonderful granddaughter you are.