1. Bobynic

    Bobynic Registered User

    Feb 18, 2015
    Hi all,I've just joined this site,read lots of posts and what a great way for people to get advice or have a rant. My grandad who is 88 has dementia,and was diagnosed about 4 years ago,my nan who is 85 is his main carer,and she does an excellent job,I come from a big family and we all visit and help everyday,and we take her out a lot so she has a break. However she is struggling lately and I don't know how to help her. We all reassure her that she is doing a great job. So just wondered what help is out there for her? Is there someone that could visit her? Someone not emotionally connected? Getting online out of the question for her. Any suggestions greatly received.
  2. henfenywfach

    henfenywfach Registered User

    May 23, 2013
    Hi!..its great to hear youre all popping in to help..
    The reality is that things are probably quite challenging physically and emotionally and change all the time..my folks would never admit they needed help!..its a mature couple things they think its their duty..i completely understand..but there is help out there!
    Firstly if your needs to talk to someone try and work out who she d talk to?..family..gp..friend..counsellor,.?
    She needs an outlet to get things off her chest!..
    Secondly..physical help..after a diagnosis its the persons entitlement and the carers to have a social services assessment if care needs..it doesnt mean anything nasty just seeing what help the dept and local council can offer to them both!
    Thirdly..ask the local alz society to come in have a chat they know whats out there to help! And both can join the activities they run ..suitable for carers and people witg diagnosis.
    Lpa ...power of attorney and wills...to protect them legally is paramount..finance and property and health welfare!.
    There are befrienders...carers for house things..personal care..going shopping appointments ..or even double checking benefits...
    Suggested contacts .alzheimers society support worker..age uk..crossroads..care and repair..social services....

    What can happen with a mature couple is that they dont pay attention to themselves and the strain makes them ill...sounds like your all helping....theres no let down if outside help has to come in..getting them to accept it is difficult....taking advice from your children like role reversal is hard im sure but with their best interest at heart you ll always be doing your best...to meet other carers the same age similar situation might benefit...carers projects locally!.or alz society session
    Good luck

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using Talking Point mobile app
  3. Bobynic

    Bobynic Registered User

    Feb 18, 2015
    Thank you,that's given me a lot of pointers. Think what she really needs is just someone outside of the family to talk too. Will try and find a local organisation who could may be visit,she struggles understanding that his behaviour is due to the dementia,she knows it is but can't really accept it, he has gone down hill in the last few months so behaviour is worse.
  4. katie1

    katie1 Registered User

    Aug 5, 2014
    Kendal Cumbria
    You could also contact your local Age UK branch (just google) they usually have a local representative who you can ring and chat to and find out what help and activities are going on in your area. They will also advise on any benefits they might be eligible for and if age uk can provide any services.
    Your local Adult Health services should also be able to help.

    Good Luck
  5. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    Are there any memory cafes being run near your grandparents? Mum and I go to two a month, although if I go further afield we could go to one every week. Your grandmother would find them very useful for chatting to other carers, a few volunteers to sit and have a chat with your grandfather. Alzheimer's society will have details, I found out about them from local library.
  6. Bobynic

    Bobynic Registered User

    Feb 18, 2015
    Thanks everyone,I contacted the local office of the alzimers society,they e mailed me back very quickly and said a local support worker would be in touch soon. Had a very long chat with nan today and she agreed she could do with more help so that's a major step forward.

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