1. Expert Q&A: Living well as a carer - Weds 28 August, 3-4pm

    As a carer for a person living with dementia, the needs of the person you care for will often come before your own. You may experience a range of difficult emotions and you may not have the time to do all the things you need to do. Caring can have a big impact on both your mental and physical health, as well as your overall wellbeing.

    Angelo, our Knowledge Officer (Wellbeing) is our expert on this topic. He will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 28 August between 3-4pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

Nan keeps remembering her mum

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Bobby37, Nov 4, 2018.

  1. Bobby37

    Bobby37 New member

    Nov 4, 2018
    4
    My nan is in the middle stages of dementia and keeps having bursts of crying about her mum. She died about 15 years ago
    I'm unsure how to deal with the situation as when trying to explain to her she will cry more
    Does anyone have any experience or advice?
    Thank you
    Robyn
     
  2. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,235
    I am sure someone will give you a better reply. What are you trying to explain?
    A love lie is often enough, saying she will come when she can, she's a bit busy.

    It may only be a cry for reassurance, some hand holding, a cuddle. Slow down, you may pick up on what she is needing in that moment.
    I would ask her what is the best thing she remembers about her mum. Just enter her world. Happy memories may surface. 0therwise distract.
    I used to have a neighbour who waited at the outside door for her husband who had died many years before.
    I used to chat with her about him. Then suggest it was cold outside, then suggested a cup of tea would be warming.
    There is no one way, we are all learning moment by moment.
    Dreams can be very real and act as a trigger.
     
  3. karaokePete

    karaokePete Registered User

    Jul 23, 2017
    4,838
    N Ireland
    Hello @Robynlyons, welcome to the forum. I hope you find this to be a friendly and supportive place.

    These statements are often an expression of some anxiety as it may not be the place or person that is being sought but the feeling of security and safety that was felt as a child in the parental home.

    It would be an idea to talk to your Nan at these moments to see if you can find out why she is anxious as you may be able to resolve that with reassurance or action. Otherwise a chat with the GP may help as depression and anxiety are common bedfellows of dementia.

    I hope you can resolve this and that you will keep posting now that you have found us.

    In relation to communication issues, you will find a lot of useful hints in the thread that can be reached by clicking the following link
    https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/

    A great deal of information can be found in the Publications list that you can reach with the following link
    https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list
     
  4. Bobby37

    Bobby37 New member

    Nov 4, 2018
    4
    Hello,
    Thank you for the reply! I'll have a look at the links
     
  5. Lancashirelady

    Lancashirelady Registered User

    Oct 7, 2014
    110
    I would always get round it by reminding Mum in a jokey way that Nana would be 115 if she were still alive and then distracting her from being upset by talking about Nana and unique things she did.
     

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