Nan keeps remembering her mum

[Bobby37]

My nan is in the middle stages of dementia and keeps having bursts of crying about her mum. She died about 15 years ago
I'm unsure how to deal with the situation as when trying to explain to her she will cry more
Does anyone have any experience or advice?
Thank you
Robyn

 

[AliceA]

I am sure someone will give you a better reply. What are you trying to explain?
A love lie is often enough, saying she will come when she can, she's a bit busy.

It may only be a cry for reassurance, some hand holding, a cuddle. Slow down, you may pick up on what she is needing in that moment.
I would ask her what is the best thing she remembers about her mum. Just enter her world. Happy memories may surface. 0therwise distract.
I used to have a neighbour who waited at the outside door for her husband who had died many years before.
I used to chat with her about him. Then suggest it was cold outside, then suggested a cup of tea would be warming.
There is no one way, we are all learning moment by moment.
Dreams can be very real and act as a trigger.

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @Robynlyons, welcome to the forum. I hope you find this to be a friendly and supportive place.

These statements are often an expression of some anxiety as it may not be the place or person that is being sought but the feeling of security and safety that was felt as a child in the parental home.

It would be an idea to talk to your Nan at these moments to see if you can find out why she is anxious as you may be able to resolve that with reassurance or action. Otherwise a chat with the GP may help as depression and anxiety are common bedfellows of dementia.

I hope you can resolve this and that you will keep posting now that you have found us.

In relation to communication issues, you will find a lot of useful hints in the thread that can be reached by clicking the following link
https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/

A great deal of information can be found in the Publications list that you can reach with the following link
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

 

[Bobby37]

Hello,
Thank you for the reply! I'll have a look at the links

 

[Lancashirelady]

I would always get round it by reminding Mum in a jokey way that Nana would be 115 if she were still alive and then distracting her from being upset by talking about Nana and unique things she did.