Naked and unaware

BeeBeeDee

Registered User
Apr 19, 2023
149
0
I really feel for you. We haven’t reached this stage but my OH who would never have come down partly dressed will now come down in boxers asking which trousers, shoes, socks, shirt …… even though they are all out. And he will still do it even if we have visitors, luckily so far it’s always been in the boxers. On your point about what comes next, for me personally I’d rather not think about it until it happens, I can’t change anything and everyone is different so it may not happen, I’m happier with my head in the sand! Sending you hugs.
I am like you - head in sand is the only way I can cope X
 

leny connery

Registered User
Nov 13, 2022
502
0
I know. I ti where we are understood. whatever we experience, someone here has that experience too. whether we feel tired, or angry, or hopeless. we rant, we upload without fear of judgment and know someone else feels similarly. So, share away. Lots of hugs!!
 

Lostinthisdesert

Registered User
Apr 21, 2023
51
0
More trouble with disinhibition. OH has taken to washing his willy in the sink after every wee. Can be managed at home, just the 2 of us. Went to walk in the park today, disabled toilets not working so he went into the men's on his own. I was waiting outside and a man went in with his young son. OH came out zipping up as he walked out and when I asked, he had used the sink. No amount of trying to explain that he could get in trouble is working. I'm in despair! I feel I can no longer safely take him anywhere!
 

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,673
0
Surrey
Oh gosh @Lostinthisdesert thats upsetting for you when out - and you’re right could get him into trouble 😢 but I expect going out is important for you both.

It may be you limit to places where you know the loos are all good…or there is a shop you can also try nearby? Depending on your level of tolerance perhaps also accompany him into the gents in an emergency- if you indicate to others he is unwell the vast majority are very understanding.

This is tough for you.
 

scotlass

Registered User
Jul 9, 2023
322
0
I might be wrong , but I seem to remember someone saying that pwd can get a pendant to wear round their neck to let folk know , I don't know if it would be any good in this instance. I really feel for you , It's difficult to know what to do...
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
25,507
0
Southampton
I might be wrong , but I seem to remember someone saying that pwd can get a pendant to wear round their neck to let folk know , I don't know if it would be any good in this instance. I really feel for you , It's difficult to know what to do...
there is the sunflower lanyard that can be worn around the next which highlights an hidden disability which may help to highlight hidden disability
 

maggie6445

Registered User
Dec 29, 2023
1,798
0
My OH wears a badge that says' I have dementia please be patient ' it's about an inch in diameter
 

Lostinthisdesert

Registered User
Apr 21, 2023
51
0
Tried explaining and steps to change behaviour like using wipes but no luck. He has a sunflower lanyard, I could try a badge.. Disabled loos that work is what I need!
 

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
7,235
0
Chester
Disabled loos that work is what I need!

This is very true. And I assume that you didn't realise until you were at the park that they weren't.

My son was 8 when mum got dementia and he got very confused and upset by some of her behaviours.

I'm guessing at the park boys of say 10 or 11 would be using the toilets unaccompanied, and they wouldn't understand dementia, or a badge, or a lanyard.

I think a child this age would find it much less upsetting if you went into the toilets with your husband than witnessing him displaying odd behaviours. It would also be less likely to get him into trouble if a child reported it to their parents and they managed to identify him.

I'm sure you don't have the energy but maybe contact the local Alzheimers society or age UK and ask them to follow up on the need for these particular toilets to be open. You don't need to give details as someone needing pad changes needs access as well.
 

Lostinthisdesert

Registered User
Apr 21, 2023
51
0
This is very true. And I assume that you didn't realise until you were at the park that they weren't.

My son was 8 when mum got dementia and he got very confused and upset by some of her behaviours.

I'm guessing at the park boys of say 10 or 11 would be using the toilets unaccompanied, and they wouldn't understand dementia, or a badge, or a lanyard.

I think a child this age would find it much less upsetting if you went into the toilets with your husband than witnessing him displaying odd behaviours. It would also be less likely to get him into trouble if a child reported it to their parents and they managed to identify him.

I'm sure you don't have the energy but maybe contact the local Alzheimers society or age UK and ask them to follow up on the need for these particular toilets to be open. You don't need to give details as someone needing pad changes needs access as well.
Yes indeed! Good idea. I don't have the energy to chase up the council or park bosses but I can contact Age UK. Thank you
 

Spottydog

Registered User
Dec 8, 2023
193
0
I don't have any helpful advice but my nan used to undress too. She would whip all her clothes off when your back was turned and say 'what would you do with a body like this?'. The only thing I can suggest about using the toilet sink is that you check the gents are empty then guard the door and don't let anyone in until he has come out.