My wife has dementia beginning stage

[jhp]

My wife is functional. She cannot remember what day it is moment to moment. She is able to carry on a conversation, albeit with some repetition. We bowl together weekly and she attends when I bowl with a mens team and visits with other wives. She also will drive our car, following me when I return our RV to the storage facility after a trip. She has been taking Sertaline(sp) plus three other prescriptions. We visit our doctor monthly. She has no other symptoms other than face numbness. She likes to take long walks when the summer heat subsides here in Arizona. She was diagnosed with Dementia approximately one year ago even though her primary care doctor said she did not have symptoms then. I insisted that she should be tested. How many years will it take before she has to have home care when she is alone while I play golf. We did have home care for a short time but my wife said it would not be necessary and we cancelled the service. But I can tell she wants me to stay home when I leave for four hours morning golf days. Any input as to others who are going through the same time period of dementia?

 

[jaymor]

Hello up and welcome to Talking Point. So sorry that your wife has dementia and you are thinking about the future.

You will find on the forum that people living with dementia vary so much. My husband managed to continue to work for 4 years and stayed at home with me as his only carer for 7 years. He has now been in nursing care for three years. Some deteriate much faster, some very much slower, it is impossible to predict.

Many of us find it best to deal with it a day at a time and not look too far ahead. Worrying about the future spoils enjoying the present.

May be your wife could spend the time when you are golfing with a friend. She needs to feel safe.

I wish you all the very best and please keep posting and getting advice and support from the wonderful members on Talking Point.

 

[Izzy]

Hi jhp, welcome from me too.

I just want to echo what Jay has said. Worrying about the future can so easily spoil the present and nobody can predict how quickly things will deteriorate. If there's any way she could be with friends while you go to golf I think that would be a perfect answer for just now. You just need to monitor the situation as time goes by and make a judgement call about when she will need a professional carer to stay with her.

I hope you find the forum useful.

Take care.

 

[Jinx]

Hi JHP, although we hadn't had an official diagnosis at that stage I knew things weren't quite right several years ago but my husband was OK to be left with lists of numbers to call etc. however about two years ago he started saying that he didn't like being on his own so I tried to make times on his own as short as possible if I couldn't take him with me. 20 months ago he had another small stroke that had a huge impact on his dementia levels and I was told by doctors that he needed 24/7 supervision. That's where we are now, I can't leave him unless I have a carer to sit with him. As others have said you can't second-guess how this disease will progress, just take each day at a time, make the most of what you have and take note of how your wife is coping. Good luck.


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