My Wife Clepto Maniac or Alzheimer's or both? Also how to deal with finances.

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by macsurvey1, Jan 14, 2015.

  1. macsurvey1

    macsurvey1 Registered User

    My wife has Alzheimer's and prior to that she was a hoarder, she kept two records of arrest for stealing, which I was not aware of til I found the notice's. My question is: I this an Alzheimer's trait? She also takes things that are mine and hides them, is this an Alzheimer's trait and how can it be stopped if possible.

    Last but not least, I am concerned about finances, ours and mine when she has to go in a nursing home which probably should have already been done.

    I look forward to hearing from you all.

    Bob:(
     
  2. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,424
    #2 jenniferpa, Jan 14, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2015
    Hi Bob, and welcome to Talking Point.

    I think the answer to your question is probably that it is both the Alzheimer's and also an underlying predisposition. Which isn't very helpful, I realise. Have you spoken to her doctor about this?

    I think all you can really do is not let her be in a position where she can actually take anything if at all possible, and perhaps check her pockets and her purse before you leave a place where she might have been able to take something.

    The financial side is difficult, as I see you say you live in NY. This forum has mostly (although not all) UK based posters, and even though I am in fact in the US, the extent of my knowledge about funding for full-time care in the US is miniscule (except I know I would have to pay for it which is why I have a long-term care policy).

    Your state department of aging should have some resources, let me see what I can find.

    http://www.aging.ny.gov/
     
  3. CJinUSA

    CJinUSA Registered User

    Jan 20, 2014
    1,127
    eastern USA
    Hello. You have your plate full. Depending on when your wife started stealing, this could be a predilection associated with her hoarding, or it might have been a form of dementia or psychological disorder that she has had for some time. The person to speak with about that might be her GP or, better yet, her neurologist (whoever it was who diagnosed her with Alzheimer's).

    As for finances, you need to consult with a legal professional, probably, to be absolutely clear about things, but in the meantime, try your county office of the aging. Most states operate their offices at the county level. That's how it is done in Pennsylvania, anyway.

    Are you on your own with her, or do you both or does she have children? You will need some assistance in sorting out all of the issues, and it would be nice if you could have the help of an informed third party like a child.

    Keep posting to the forums. You'll find many people have many good ideas, on this and the other side of the Atlantic.

    There are two organizations in the US that also offer support, though I prefer this forum here for its range of participants. Anyway, the two are:

    Alzheimer's Foundation
    http://www.alzfdn.org/?gclid=CKG50JKdlMMCFdgZgQod-qIADQ

    and Alzheimer's Organization
    http://www.alz.org/

    You're on the right path if you are finding documents and searching for answers. Best wishes to you.
     
  4. Witzend

    Witzend Registered User

    Aug 29, 2007
    4,287
    SW London
    Helping themselves to anything they fancy is often a feature of dementia - I don't think anything but vigilance will be any use. The person will usually not understand or remember that they must not take things. My mother's care home can be like Kleptomania Central - you leave anything lying around at your peril. The visiting hairdresser once left her jacket with her car keys in a pocket, lying around. It took the staff over two hours of searching residents' rooms, to find it.
     

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