I feel a bit of an interloper posting on this thread, my wife died two years ago , and most of the posts are from members whose loss is still recent and raw.
But the title of this thread is “My way - Dealing with Loss” and I have naturally had to deal with the hurt that all must feel.
Much against the advice of many friends I decided early on not to dispose of my wife’s clothes and other possessions,
A decision I shall never regret. We have a large’ walk in wardrobe , more than half of it still occupied with my wife’s clothes
If I were to dispose of her clothes I would be left with a half empty wardrobe , every time I open the wardrobe door and see a half empty space I would be immediately be reminded of the emptiness of my life .
Now I use the wardrobe daily but ,often or not, I don’t even think about it , I know if I ever move I will then have to reconsider , but in the meantime I am happy as it is
Naturally I have several pictures of my wife scattered about the house , but two of them, one when she was a young girl of 17 when we were courting , and one taken only a few weeks before she died
are my favourites and I made a bookmark with her picture on either side and the two verses we chose for the crematorium book of remembrance ,
I always read for half hour or so before I go to sleep at night, and
the bookmark is the last thing I see as I close my book , a natural reminder without any soul searching.
Some members will already know , there is a beautiful pink rose called ‘Lovely Lady’ So many people described my wife when she died as a lovely lady I decided to ‘adopt’ the rose in her memory
I bought several plants and gave them to my sons, and the carers who were so good to her . I planted two for myself in my front garden ,they have produce gorgeous blooms each year
Every day as I walk past them on my way to get my paper I am
instantly reminded of ‘My Lovely Lady’ and I have the added pleasure of knowing that scattered in different parts of the country
several others will be enjoying the lovely blooms on their own plants and occasionally will be reminded of my ‘Lovely Lady’
I still grieve for the loss of the lovely lady that was my wife and sweetheart for over 60years ,but the pain is not so deep with the reminders I have
That so far is “ My way - Dealing with Loss”
jimbo