My way - Dealing with Loss

[Skye]

Dear Jan, I'm so glad you felt secure and strong.

I paid John a visit today too, because I'm going on holiday this week, and I always like to say goodbye. Sadly, I can't take Skye with me, because of the ducks and swans. I too find these visits make me strong, keep me grounded, if that makes sense.

I too know that John is with me every day, and it's such a wonderful feeling.

I'm further along the road than you, Jan, but you're doing so well.

Love,

 

[BeckyJan]

Thanks Izzy, Sylvia, Saffie and Skye

 

[Helen33]

Dear Jan, i'm a bit late seeing your post. It sounds like your day turned out to be just what you needed. Meditative relaxation - wonderful. If it's Jake you are minding, give him a nice stroke from me. I dont suppose Oscar will be very impressed!!

Love

 

[chana]

Jan-im so sorry for your loss. You are 1 amazing lady, to be doing what you are doing. I understand completely what you feel. I listen to music that reminds me of my parents, i see where youre at. Jan, im so sorry.

 

[BeckyJan]

I am downsizing This means getting rid of loads of stuff some of which has many many happy or emotional memories.

A somewhat ridiculous example. I am about to throw a very old tatty looking Dundee Cake tin which I have used and held on to despite comments from our daughters. It was on the first visit of David to my home - bringing with him a Dundee cake. Two reasons for such a gift, I think. One he loved cake and didn't think I was up to baking in those days.

From the picture you can see why I need to scrap it (it is over 42 years old).

 

[garnuft]

No!!!! Don't throw it out Jan, the girls will be glad of it later, it's like Tutankhamen's treasures.....priceless.
You could use it to keep something in therefore it would earn it's keep. x

 

[BeckyJan]

it's like Tutankhamen's treasures.....priceless

...... love it!

 

[Izzy]

Aw. You can't throw out a Dundee cake tin!!!

Bill used to make our Dundee cake. x

 

[Grannie G]

Don't encourage her. She's downsizing. She has a house full of memories. The same memories are in her heart and soul. She doesn't need things. The new house isn't big enough.

 

[Izzy]

Only joking Sylvia.

 

[Grannie G]

I know you are Izzy. But does Jan know?

 

[Butter]

but not that first tin ..... it can be a home for so much ..... we have one for shoe-cleaning materials, another for cotton reels .... both even more than 42 ...

 

[Helen33]

If you are getting rid, sell it. These things have a alue. If you dont need the cash, some charity will be glad of it.

I am very admiring of you from a distance Jan. you are fulfilling your and David's dreams by downsizing in your retirement. I imagine he would be pleased and happy that he has provided well for you at this time in your life.

Love

 

[BeckyJan]

It will be two years tomorrow since David died. It now seems like only yesterday.
Yes, life does move on and there is plenty to fill my days.

BUT I still miss him daily. That gentle touch or sideways glance; a hug and cheeky smile - its strange how the pre dementia days are uppermost in my thoughts and the dementia days, month and years are for me now best forgotten.

Its a sad time but tomorrow I will strive to hold on to just good memories.

 

[2jays]

My thoughts are with you Jan.

That your thoughts are of David pre dementia must be very bitter sweet.

xx


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point

 

[garnuft]

It's good that the pre-dementia memories are the strongest.

He was an incredible man, the beginning and middle are so much more important than the end.

I don't suppose a day has gone by that you haven't thought of him Jan but best wishes to you at this time, while they weigh so heavily on your mind. xx

 

[Izzy]

I can't believe it's two years ago. I'm so glad the pre dementia memories are strong with you. That's how it should be. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow Jan. x

 

[jan.s]

Thinking of you Jan. I hope you will recall some good memories.

Jan xx

 

[Grannie G]

I`ll be thinking of you tomorrow Jan and hope it won`t be too painful.

Love Sylvia xx

 

[sunray]

I am 21 months from Ray's death and I now have a mixture of memories, the nursing home ones are fading and yes I do have more of the pre-illness memories. As Ray's first stroke was 23 years ago now I will never get back to those earlier days.

All the anniversaries do bring back the sadness so I wish you well for tomorrow. Hope it is a sunny day and you can get out and see how amazing the world you live in is and remember how good it is that you still have life ahead of you.

Sue.