My trouble is...

[optocarol]

...apparently I don't have a sense of humour. I used to! I just don't find it hilarious when OH puts something on inside out, farts, etcetc. Maybe he wouldn't either if he were me and had been dealing with him for 5+ years.

Sorry, just need to vent!

 

[Kevinl]

All good optocarol, pants inside out and a fart in the face is just part of the package, vent away we're all here to listen.
K

 

[janey106]

Hi optocarol, I'm sure your sense of humour is still in there, what used to make you laugh? Peter Kay, Sarah Millican and Vicar of Dibley still do it for me! Sounds like you really need something/time for YOU to have a real belly laugh.

Sarah Millican apparently once said "when you can no longer see the light at the end of the tunnel, b****y well walk down the tunnel and turn the b****r back on". I kind of like that.

 

[truth24]

Does he mean to be funny, optocarol or can he not help it ands laughs to cover up his embarrassment? My OH was often to be found in 3 pairs of trousers when we were ready to go out and really resented me trying to remove any. It was not unknown for it to slip through the net occasionally and we would be in a restaurant or somesuch before I noticed! All pairs would have belts too!

 

[optocarol]

Does he mean to be funny, optocarol or can he not help it ands laughs to cover up his embarrassment? My OH was often to be found in 3 pairs of trousers when we were ready to go out and really resented me trying to remove any. It was not unknown for it to slip through the net occasionally and we would be in a restaurant or somesuch before I noticed! All pairs would have belts too!

No, he doesn't mean to be funny and since I'm talking about when we're at home, he's not embarrassed and I know it's not a big deal really. Just get tired of things pretty much always being my fault and being supposed to know what he means when no-one would. I try to avoid issues, questions and be evasive, but sometimes he won't be diverted!

Thanks all for your replies.

 

[Tin]

Think I know what you mean. Mum has taken to breaking wind and she thinks its funny so to do our visitors, I don't, never did or when she decides to take her trousers off in the middle of the dining room because she has seen another pair drying on the radiator and she just has to put them on. Some of the dementia behaviour does make me laugh with her, but some of it is just sad and only an indication of how awful this whole thing is. My sense of humour is intact, its just a bit askew at the moment!!!!

 

[Eleonora]

Hang On in There, Girl!



Hi optocarol. I feel for your great frustration with your OH's weird behavior, but if he were his old self, I'd bet that he would probably be horrified too.

Please, I beg of you, hang on to what is left of your sense of humor. It will come in so handy in your joint journey through the dementia maze.
Talking Point is a wonderful pressure valve' and most of the long term users have had a good rant, and found enormous support from others.


I have had to discontinue the use of trousers for O.H., because he can no longer stand, or move unaided; and it's impossible to pull his trousers up for him, whilst trying to support him in a standing position. Same with P.J. bottoms.

On one occasion, he had filled his incontinence pad, underneath the trousers and pants; the ensuing contortions needed to replace the offending item, clean him up and, ideally, restore him to his usual glory would require the skill an Olympic gymnast.

It would have taken a heart of stone, not to see the funny side of of the resulting pile-up.

 

[esmeralda]

Eleonora, have you had a visit from an OT lately? There are some amazing pieces of equipment out there. I know getting these supplied is easier in some areas than others but it may be worth checking.
Hanging on to your sense of humour is vital I know, but there are times it does go missing.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Grannie G]

Those behaviours are not funny Carol, if they are not meant to be. They are sad and upsetting. It does not mean you have lost your sense of humour, it means you find nothing to laugh at about your husbands illness.

I'm sure if something really funny came into your life you'd laugh your socks off. Sadly when you're a 24/7 carer it doesn't often happen.

 

[Scarlett123]

I sympathise so much Carol. It can be so exhausting trying to be patient all the time, and keeping a neutral look on your face. Thinking of you. xxx

 

[Casbow]

Optocarol

...apparently I don't have a sense of humour. I used to! I just don't find it hilarious when OH puts something on inside out, farts, etcetc. Maybe he wouldn't either if he were me and had been dealing with him for 5+ years.

Sorry, just need to vent!

Understand completely. Nowadays, if and when I laugh, it comes as a bit of a surprise. I have forgotton how to see the funny side of anything. chin upxxx

 

[Lilac Blossom]

My hubby is unable to put on his trousers so multiple pairs do not happen - he needs assistance with all aspects of dressing. When he passes wind it seems to me so sad that he is not even a little bit embarrassed - not really funny, just sad.

You haven't lost your sense of humour Carol xx

 

[Jinx]

My sense of humour has deserted me this evening too, OH is sitting in his armchair, which he thinks is his bed, in his cap and outdoor jacket. He has worn himself out trying all the doors wanting to find parents, grandparents etc. I find this nightly sun downing routine exhausting and nothing distracts him. I feel so sorry for him and wish there was some way to reassure him and calm him down. I think we're almost at the point where he will give in and go to bed I hope so anyway.


Sent from my iPad using Talking Point

 

[truth24]

Remember the horrors of sundowning so well and really feel for you.

 

[optocarol]

I'm sitting here feeling soggy, as a friend of mine says, that all you lovely people have responded. Thank you so much, it does help. OH still dresses himself - obviously, I guess! Sometimes it's just soooo annoying when everything is funny, when it's not.

 

[gringo]

I’m another one who’s sense of humour has disappeared. I can’t bring myself to even look at the ‘funny side of dementia’ thread. There is no funny side to dementia, that I can see. I can’t raise the smallest smile when my wife’s confused state of mind leads her to mistake one thing with another, can’t remember the names of everyday objects, or tells me of strange goings-on which I know have only happened in her mind. Her pre-dementia self would be horrified, not amused by her present behaviour.
The sadness and terrible waste of it all is overwhelming, and leaves me with no inclination for humour. It’s said that one has to laugh or cry. It’s not true for everyone, I can’t laugh but neither can I cry anymore.

 

[malomm]

I’m another one who’s sense of humour has disappeared. I can’t bring myself to even look at the ‘funny side of dementia’ thread. There is no funny side to dementia, that I can see. I can’t raise the smallest smile when my wife’s confused state of mind leads her to mistake one thing with another, can’t remember the names of everyday objects, or tells me of strange goings-on which I know have only happened in her mind. Her pre-dementia self would be horrified, not amused by her present behaviour.
The sadness and terrible waste of it all is overwhelming, and leaves me with no inclination for humour. It’s said that one has to laugh or cry. It’s not true for everyone, I can’t laugh but neither can I cry anymore.

I know what you are all saying, and I feel for you. There is absolutely no funny side to dementia/Alzeihmers, and it's almost impossible most of the time to keep or have a sense of humour. Sometimes I feel so frustrated and angry by my wife's condition and the things she gets up to. But I can get a smile on her face, and mine too, with recordings of old TV shows such as Dad's Army or Still open all hours, and an Italian programme that features those candid camera type antics of people and animals in all sorts of funny and sometimes dangerous situations. You have to keep smiling if you can, somehow, or you'll go mad.
malomm

 

[Trisha4]

Hi optocarol, I'm sure your sense of humour is still in there, what used to make you laugh? Peter Kay, Sarah Millican and Vicar of Dibley still do it for me! Sounds like you really need something/time for YOU to have a real belly laugh.

Sarah Millican apparently once said "when you can no longer see the light at the end of the tunnel, b****y well walk down the tunnel and turn the b****r back on". I kind of like that.

Vent away, optocarol. We all need to and there's always someone on here who understands.
Janey, thank you!!! I'm having a low moment and your Sarah M quote made me laugh. I like that too and I think it sums up what many of us do. I think it should be a carer's mantra! Once more unto the tunnel, dear friends.

Hugs to both x x


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