1. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    2,141
    Oh thank you. Our human hearts. How did they evolve like this with such fidelity. Such beautiful fidelity. It is one of our most human qualities, what it means to be human. Thank you so much.
    Oh my dear what a wonderful and inspiring post, thank you with all love, this is amazing and so full of hope. Thank you! Geraldine aka kindred.
     
  2. RedLou

    RedLou Registered User

    Jul 30, 2014
    1,162
    Both my OH and I are definitely making the most of our time now that neither of us have parents to care for. We now have a granddaughter to help out with but that is pure pleasure and voluntary, which is totally different, joyful and forward-looking. My OH teaches workshops to people with mental health problems, including those with early onset dementia (diagnosed before the age of 65; some are only in their 40s.) All of those people tell my OH to fill every moment now and to do all the adventurous things we want to do. The only thing they regret is things they didn't do or put off. Food for thought.
     
  3. Hair Twiddler

    Hair Twiddler Registered User

    Aug 14, 2012
    879
    Middle England
    Hello @Duggies-girl,
    It's been over 6 months now since my mum passed away in a care home(Alzheimers disease), twelve months since I could look after her no more at home with us, over six years since she came to live with us. It was all so very very hard.
    I have taken up acrylic paint flow painting, too complicated to explain it in detail but basically you drip, dribble and mess with acrylic paint on small and large canvases, then let them set for a week and you have "art". I have set up my studio in what was mum's bedroom - it is downstairs and has "good light". I don't feel her presence or anything spiritual when I'm messing in there but I do feel happy and I'm sure that she would have a good laugh if she could see my mess!!
    I've regained a new life - I hope you will too.
     
  4. Duggies-girl

    Duggies-girl Registered User

    Sep 6, 2017
    1,470
     
  5. Agzy

    Agzy Registered User

    Nov 16, 2016
    827
    Moreton, Wirral. UK.
    What a lovely ‘normal’ but very special and personal way to bid goodbye, much love.
     
  6. acorns

    acorns Registered User

    Jan 25, 2018
    103
    It's comforting to read these posts and know I'm not alone in worrying about the future. When we lose our identity as a carer, having already given up previous lives, it's going to take time to build a new life. The ideal scenario as I see it is to start opening some doors now - just a foot in the door - so there are some interesting opportunities ahead to look forward to.

    University of the Third Age (https://www.u3a.org.uk/) gives me great hope too. Just look at the list of activities they run in your area. If they aren't very active in your area then maybe you need to find an area nearby where there are more over 55s. That's what I did - sold previous flat in city, bought a flat in area with elderly people and joined U3A there - but am living with mum an hour away currently. I haven't been free to go to anything yet but I receive emails and am feeling excited about the possibilities.

    In an area where over 55s are in the majority there are also bound to be local adult learning classes during the day too. I did manage to go to one which I loved and also found another activity for the same day, so with a few hours off I have made a start on some new adventures. This hope keeps me going for now - even if when the time comes I choose a different path.
     
  7. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    5,287
    Cotswolds
    Thank you for these ideas @acorns.
    I'm one of those struggling to rediscover myself. Motivation can be a problem and I found your post very encouraging.
    Many thanks again
    Lindy xx
     
  8. Selinacroft

    Selinacroft Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    937
    Absolutely right for your friend to enjoy her "my time". I've learnt from 2 very different bereavements over the years to let go and move on , no guilt, no regrets , job done as well as anyone could have managed, did all I could and now "my time" . Ok so mostly spent still running around caring for others and working but certainly no regrets or guilt or sadness over what has gone before.
     

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