Hello, like so many of the threads I have viewed today, I too am a new member. I am really trying not to let the panic feeling, which keeps getting to my throat before I think or do something to suppress the longing I have to scream! My dear, sweet Dad has dementia and also has multiple myeloma - which is a form of Leukemia. He is 87, and while the comments may be well intentioned, I cannot bear to hear or see anyone give me THE look which, interpreted, says "well, he IS 87". Although not officially diagnosed (what's with the NHS?), he is displaying all the symptoms. Little to no short-term memory - doesn't recognize his children or my Mum - wants to go home (which, when asked, is his childhood home) - panics if my Mum (his carer) is gone too long - gets agitated around noisy gatherings - can go for hours without speaking. The list goes on. And here comes the kicker for me and my sister.........we both live in the U.S. and to say we feel helpless, guilty and every other negative emotion, is an understatement. I'm scared for many reasons. I don't know where to go, who to see/call or email to get some sound advice. My Mum needs help. If only for a day a week. He doesn't need a sitter - but it would be nice to know my Mum could have a break without the worry of my Dad getting panicked because of her absence. Why won't his doctor give him Aricept (Sp?) - he's been asked and all we get is his chuckling (yes, that's right) reply which is that he doesn't know what good it would do. I, regrettably in this situation, am the "calm" one in the family. It takes quite a lot to "set me off"........and my visit to this dr. on my recent visit home, I was the same.....now that I'm back here, I wish I'd grabbed him by the throat and asked him to prescribe something that would slow down my Dad's dementia. What can I do? What can someone recommend I do to get my parents affairs in order so that the gov't cannot take everything they have away from them in the event my Dad has to be put in a home down the road? Where can I find a relief carer for my Mum? Has anyone heard of Aricept and does it in fact slow down the dementia? I need help - I am trying everyday to remain calm and focused - it's so difficult. My Dad represents every meaning of the word "gentleman".......... please help me in any way any of you can........please!