Mum came to live with us in March 2001 - we spent £1000's on a granny flat. We didn't know anything was wrong - Mum was saying some odd things but we put it down to moving out of the family home. Anyway - it was all a disaster - I had 3 children aged 13/11/9 and a saintly husband. I worked part time. Mum became more and more difficult and demanding and I lost my patience with her so many times. Eventually Community Psychiatric Nurses came (I was at breaking point and my children were at a loss). The CMPs said she just needed more company - Mum refused to go to day centres - couldn't make decisions about anything. I tentatively suggested to my sisters that if they had Mum to stay for one weekend a month, me and my family could at least have some time together. They didn't offer. My husband's health was beginning to suffer - I tried to find respite care - nothing doing. Finally on Friday 13th June 2003, I tricked Mum into entering a care home. I went on holiday with family and hubby had a heart attack ! (He's fine now). Mum hasn't been diagnosed Alzheimer's but her dementia is worsening. It's heart-breaking to see her constant confusion and anxiety. It's even worse somehow because when she sees me, I get the feeling she believes I will somehow sort it all out. She settled into the care-home but was moved to an assessment centre recently because (apparently) she became cross and violent with staff. She is now in an unfamiliar environment and her confusion and despair has rocketed. She asks me if she can come home with me and it takes all my strength to walk away - I feel I should put my life on hold to look after her - but it wouldn't be fair to the kids - would it ? Sorry for going on - no-one understands how I feel and I'm constantly trying to put a brave face on things.