my post from another forum, reply from a nurse


Registered User
Mar 1, 2007
Melbourne, Australia

Oh Zonk ... I'm glad I've helped you in some small way .. I am truly honoured and I thank you.

You are doing the best thing you can for your Mum. No regrets my friend, this is what needs to be done. If circumstances change, you could always reverse your decision, but let me tell you ... you've made the right one for right now at this moment of time ok?

I know SO many people who have been admitted to facilities, and even I think "Gee, you could have stayed at home a bit longer" but it's not for me to judge, I don't know all the facts,and that was really brought home this past week to me by one lady I know who has just been admitted whom we ALL thought was really quite 'with it' and is, quite evidently 'NOT WITH IT' and after much talking with her daughter, helped her realise that Mum NEEDS a secure unit. She's SAFE.

Anyway, we're here for a virtual hug, to listen to some venting and to just be here.

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01-12-2007, 08:01 PM #4

Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 88 Re: Nursing home placement


this is my greatest concern, could we have kept her home longer?
that was my no. 1 aim.
But given the circumstances it is now in mums best interest to be permanently placed, even if it causes her some distress.
Better to place her now than to risk my brother hurting her (psychologically) or walking out on her and being faced with a crisis.
and my brothers health is suffering (obviously)
I fear judgement from health professionals about placing too early but as you point out, each person never knows the family situation.
I have not told our NH that my brother is on valium and having addiction problems, but I will in due course.
I am hoping that once she is admitted they will not find it necessary to keep her in the secure wing, and that she can be transferred to the general high care ward...time will tell.(ACAT specified dementia specific)
she has no challenging behaviours, is not aggressive, and does not wander or sundown and is a bit repetitive
i take her in on Monday, and then I will get my life back,gradually!
Angel bear, I just read your 101 activities for an alzheimers patients and I was a bit shocked because my mum seems a bit different from other typical sufferers (or maybe its the stage)
I dont think she could actually do up to 85% of your suggestions
she is not capable of getting a glass of water in her own home
she certainly could not color in, rake, fold towels, do simple puzzles or talk about "the old times"
she is hardly capable of putting together a 5 word sentence. she could not wipe a table or sort socks
in fact the only things she can do unaided are go to the toilet (needs help at times) walk and eat.dressing is dodgy.
I once(about six months ago) tried to get her to get something out of my pantry. I gave her simple one step directions but I could not even get her to find or see the cupboard which was right next to her(yes we have had a recent visit to the optomitrist) sp?
a little while ago I tried to get her to brush her hair, I put the brush in her hand and gave her one step directions and even touched her hand and then her hair giving her not only verbal but physical instructions..."time to brush your hair"
when she follows me to the toilet in my house, if I dissapear around the corner,less than 2 feet away from her she does not follow,as she has lost sight of me but starts anxiously repeating "where am I? where am I?!, WHERE AM I??!!
but she is continent, mobile and has a good appetite.
its like the disease has totally attacked the part of her brain that regulates these functions before it turns its attention to the part of her brain that governs the body.

I class her as stage six going by your sticky, I can not see room for any more cognitive decline that will not involve her physically