1. Expert Q&A: Living well as a carer - Thurs 29 August, 3-4pm

    As a carer for a person living with dementia, the needs of the person you care for will often come before your own. You may experience a range of difficult emotions and you may not have the time to do all the things you need to do. Caring can have a big impact on both your mental and physical health, as well as your overall wellbeing.

    Angelo, our Knowledge Officer (Wellbeing) is our expert on this topic. He will be here to answer your questions on Thursday 29 August between 3-4pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. Springy12

    Springy12 Registered User

    Apr 27, 2014
    My mum has been in hospital for over 4 weeks now and we have no idea when she will be coming out. The plan hopefully is for her to go into Intermediate Care and then hopefully home.
    But she is still so incredibly confused and muddled up I'm not sure they will let her go home.
    Her leg ulcer is no longer infected but still having dressing changed, the water infection has now gone and the Diabetes is under control.
    The doctors keep saying the symptoms of the confusion/delirium will be the last thing to settle down and it could take weeks for that to happen, but it's so hard not knowing what the outcome is going to be.
    Do we start looking at Care/Nursing Homes in case she is never allowed home? The thought of her not being allowed home to her little flat with her two cats is heart breaking.
    The confusion is so varying- one minute you can talk to her the next she will say " I don't like this room at the end of the runway".
    Has anyone had any experience of something like this?
  2. janey106

    janey106 Registered User

    Dec 10, 2013
    Hi Springy, I'm not going to be of much help I'm afraid as not had this experience but just wanted to acknowledge how hard this must be, living in limbo and just so many unknowns. I noticed you have posted in the Welcome forum but you might get more replies if it was on the I Care for Someone ....forum page. I had to ask for one of mine to be swapped earlier (might get picked up by Modeator anyway but you cab Report your own post using the red Report Post button). Thinking of you.
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Thank you janey106 :)

    This Thread has been moved and Springy12 has been informed
  4. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    Springy if it was me I'd start looking at homes so you're prepared if the worst happens.
  5. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    South coast
    Mum went into hospital after a TIA and then had 6 weeks reablement at a care home followed by a Best Interest meeting (that mum and I were both invited to) to decide whether she was well enough to go home with support, or whether it would be best for her to remain in a care home.
    I gather that this is usual as it often takes a while for someone with dementia to recover from being in hospital, but they dont always recover back to the same level as they were before. This gives everyone a chance to see how they would cope.
    I would also recommend that you look at care homes around so that you know where you would like her to be if/when it comes to it.
  6. pru

    pru Registered User

    Jun 21, 2011
    Hi Springy, my mam was in hospital for 9 weeks last year due to delirium. It was a nerve wrecking time as like you now, we weren't sure if she would ever come home. It was awful seeing her so distressed, so paranoid. She's on anti psychotic drugs since and is living at home. Springy, I know it's such a stressful time for you. Please look after yourself! Thinking of you! Hugs x
  7. Springy12

    Springy12 Registered User

    Apr 27, 2014

    Thanks for your reply.
    I know the doctors have said it can take weeks for the symptoms to settle but it is the not knowing that is so hard.
    The best interest meeting sounds a good idea- Hopefully that is what will happen- eventually.
    I have managed to look at a couple of care homes this weekend

    Thanks again
  8. Springy12

    Springy12 Registered User

    Apr 27, 2014

    Thanks for your reply. It is so hard seeing your mum like she is and even worse not knowing what will happen.
    I have already been signed off work for two weeks but am back now and handling it a bit better at least!
    Thanks again
  9. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    I had to plan for Mum based on her bad days. Maybe 1 or 2 days a week she is fine. The other 5 she is confused and unable to cope. I need her to be safe and that meant a care home. She is now more stable than she has been for about 2 years. Just when i start to feel guilty she has a fall or stops eating for 2 days. It helps to try to remember you are planning for the bad days. Its progressive so it will be more bad than good as time passes.
  10. banger696

    banger696 Registered User

    Sep 17, 2015
    North East
    My Mum is currently in hospital being assessed, she has been distressed and paranoid sometimes and thinks I have kidnapped her when living at home with me. She has been like this at home for 3 weeks. and hospital a week. They are trying to find a bed for her so they can evaluate her properly currently she is on a heart ward.

    I was looking after her full time at home but the CPN nurses who came one night from midnight to 4am thought she might need a spell in hospital until the confusion and behaviour settle down and she can come home and my cousin who looked after her sister with similar problems can come up to help me.

    Fingers crossed for you and your mum from someone who knows how frustrating it can be.

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