Thanks so much everyone, i feel so tired today, I didnt sleep enough last night, my brain would not shut off, i went to sleep thinking only of her and as soon as i woke up she was in my mind again. Ive had the funeral director come today , it feels weird this, its all most like its not real, but then that is what its like isnt it. I was in a shop today and i started looking for sweets for my mam , i suppose i will probably do that for a while, its just in my mind to do it, strange i probably will never go to the home again!
Hi again kenaidog. I think the feeling of it not being real is normal. That's how we felt when my MiL died early last month. Everything felt so surreal, especially until the funeral.
And we are still feeling very emotional; although we're supposedly 'coping' and have gone back to 'normal' as in going to work, getting on with our day to day lives, etc, the slightest thing has us crying. Today at work I was in a meeting where there was a presentation for someone who was leaving, she naturally became emotional, and it was all I could do to stop myself from bursting into tears. My eyes were full and I just wanted to blub and blub. As I was taking the minutes, this wasn't good!
I think, basically, we just have to be kind to ourselves at the moment. Allow yourself to cry when you need to, and don't worry when you start to look for sweets for your mam. She was a huge part of your life and you can't just switch off the need to care for her overnight.
I am so sorry for your loss. My mum died 6 weeks ago and I too was with her to the end. You will feel strange and empty for a long while, you will want to see her or talk to her and then realise she isn't there. You will cry whenever you see, smell or hear something familiar and you will re-live her last moments over and over, but this will ease as the time goes on. It was not until my mum's funeral was over (3 weeks) that I realised she was never coming back. Now I try to think of the good times when she was her "old self" and all the fun family times we had. I look at pictures of her before dementia and marvel at how good she looked. These are the things that will get you through. My thoughts are with you.
Tomorrow is the eleventh and three months since my Mam passed away. I feel a bit bad and a bit glad that there have been a couple of days when I didn't think of my Mam.
Perhaps this is a natural progression of the grieving process but I still think how surreal that time was. My thoughts are with you. Love Rose x
So sorry for your loss - we too recently lost my MIL - the funeral was yesterday. Take comfort in knowing she doesnt have to suffer anymore. When there is no hope of a recovery and the only future is one where there is worse to come its for the best. I wish you peace and better days for your future.