Couldn't think what to call this thread.
I have realised from Saffies and GrannieGs posts that it would help me to have my own thread in here too.
It is now 3 months since Gordon died, and I am still at peace about him dying, but I am not at peace about who I am or what my role in life is.
I have done most of the paperwork, and am waiting for a decision from the probate office, and also waiting for one of Gordon's pensions to be passed to me, and than that will be it.
I have held a long ambition to visit Iceland, and have found a trip organised for single people beginning on 23rd December and returning on 28th.
I just cannot press the button to confirm the booking.
I also know I cannot be here for next Christmas. Last year Gordon had just gone into full time care and my friendly taxi driver and his wife insisted I went to them for Christmas dinner. It was lovely of them, but this year I just need to do something totally different.
I am so indecisive about it all though. I shall soon need serious operations on both ankles and realise that I need to realise this ambition this year as I may not be fit enough to travel after the operations and the recovery which could take well over a year.
I just know Gordon would be urging me on, even though he would not have gone himself. Hence my long time ambition.
Someone else on TP asked for people to give her a kick to get her started I think it was bemused, well I need a kick, and I need a lot of courage too.
Jeannette
I have realised from Saffies and GrannieGs posts that it would help me to have my own thread in here too.
It is now 3 months since Gordon died, and I am still at peace about him dying, but I am not at peace about who I am or what my role in life is.
I have done most of the paperwork, and am waiting for a decision from the probate office, and also waiting for one of Gordon's pensions to be passed to me, and than that will be it.
I have held a long ambition to visit Iceland, and have found a trip organised for single people beginning on 23rd December and returning on 28th.
I just cannot press the button to confirm the booking.
I also know I cannot be here for next Christmas. Last year Gordon had just gone into full time care and my friendly taxi driver and his wife insisted I went to them for Christmas dinner. It was lovely of them, but this year I just need to do something totally different.
I am so indecisive about it all though. I shall soon need serious operations on both ankles and realise that I need to realise this ambition this year as I may not be fit enough to travel after the operations and the recovery which could take well over a year.
I just know Gordon would be urging me on, even though he would not have gone himself. Hence my long time ambition.
Someone else on TP asked for people to give her a kick to get her started I think it was bemused, well I need a kick, and I need a lot of courage too.
Jeannette