I don't feel I'm living my life at all nowadays - I'm living John's life. All of my time and energy is used towards planning which groups to take him to, which appointments he has to attend, which medications are to be given or prescriptions renewed, going out or not according to how he is feeling, organising housework or gardening for when he is showering or sleeping.
Mostly I just get on with it but when I stop and think about it there is a disturbing awareness of robot like existence in my daily routine.
However the Gods must have been watching as I will be getting three days of him going to day centre as of next week.