My Nerves are really fraying today

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by elwoodlpool, Sep 17, 2007.

  1. Hi all as you know i suffer really bad with depression and at the moment im on tablets which are keeping me right but today im off to talk to someone proffesional and im really worried if he starts talking about my Mum i will start crying. As i realise mums illness is a massive source of my depression. I even thought about cancelling it last night im on pins, Its even more nerve racking than doing our show. Ah its a horrible feeling i used to talk to some one at the age of 13 and that was'nt to bad but now im older i dont know what to expect im 28 now so you can imagine how long ive suffered with depression. I hope its ok today i really do.


    Mark
     
  2. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,418
    Dear Mark

    You mean you're going to talk to a counselor or something similar? Because if so, it is abolutely normal to cry in that situation. Almost expected really: the whole point of therapy is to air those emotions that you otherwise keep bottled up, and which can be a factor in long-term depression. Just make sure you take a hankie with you (although therapists normally have a copious supply of tissues). I have to tell you, I never wear eye-makeup when I visit my therapist, otherwise I leave her office looking like a raccoon.

    Love
     
  3. Kate P

    Kate P Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    565
    Merseyside
    Hi Mark,

    As with Jennifer I assume you mean a counsellor?

    Well, I say well done you - it's a big step going to see someone for the first time (I'm currently undergoing counselling myself because I'm also struggling to cope with my mum and daughter's illnesses or my lack of control surrounding them) and I truly hope you find it as helpful as I do.

    It's very liberating to be able to say exactly what you think and feel to someone who is an objective stranger and doesn't judge you.

    Don't worry about crying - if you do, you so - sometimes the only way forward is to let those feelings out. I personally find that bottling them up just means I'm carrying it with me 24 hours a day where as letting it out at the counsellors (where I don't have to feel guilty for upsetting anyone else) means I get a moment where it's not all sitting with me.

    I know that's a bit rambly and I hope you understand what I mean.

    I hope it all goes well for you today and I'll be thinking of you.
     
  4. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,418
    Kates correct about the spelling I think :D
     
  5. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #5 Margarita, Sep 17, 2007
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2007
    I went to talk to a counsellor it did make me cry any deep talk about mum make me cry , but must add that it did feel better after releasing those tears and that I did not know the person, they just keep quite while the tears just flow out . hope you go to appointment let us know how you got on if you do go . good luck xx
     
  6. lizzie2596

    lizzie2596 Registered User

    Jul 3, 2007
    91
    Hi Mark

    If it is a counsellor that you are seeing about your depression I would have thought that facing up to and airing your deep emotions regarding your Mum can only be a good thing. I get the feeling that the upset that you are going through over your Mum's illness is making your depression so much worse at present and, in order to get back in control, you need some help in sorting ALL of your feelings out. A counsellor needs to know about all of the pieces in order to help you put the jigsaw of your emotional life back together. In other words - don't be embarrased about letting it all out.

    Liz x
     
  7. paris07

    paris07 Registered User

    Jul 11, 2007
    74
    australia
    Hi Mark,

    I have seen several psychologists since mum has come to live with me(2 years)
    I have done most of the talking and they seem to sit and listen ,however I get it all off my chest and I find it is good to talk to someone with no emotional connection to mum or myself. YES, sometimes there are a lot of tears.

    They all have the same answer I must look after my own health and happiness , in order to take care of my Mum . I need to remind myself of that quite often I can assure you..

    I wish you all the best and hope you get the support and help you need, as I did..

    regards
    Paris07
     
  8. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    1,170
    Australia
    Dear Mark,
    I've cried buckets over my Mum - and many other things that have caused me concern over the years - at my Counselling sessions. As Jennifer says, it is almost expected. I hope your session went well (not necessarily happily, but as if you have moved some of the pain along) and that you can keep seeing someone. The answer is in seeing someone a number of times - once is (sadly) not enough.

    Thinking of you and sending you very best wishes.
     
  9. Cate

    Cate Registered User

    Jul 2, 2006
    1,370
    Newport, Gwent
    Hi Mark

    You will know from my previous posts I also suffer with depression, which was brought on by the stress of caring for my mum. My depression manifest itself in agoraphobia in the end, I was housebound for 10 months; yes I could go out, but never on my own, and certainly not into public places. So I just visit my family, and especially my mum at the NH.

    I had weekly visits to a psychiatrist. Looking back the first 4 or 5 sessions I spent just howling crying, literally as soon as I sat down. But that in itself is a relief. The psychiatrist was wonderful. After that the real hard work started. Getting out all the baggage and dealing with it.

    I cannot pretend it was not a rough journey, it was the worst, but it had to be done, to be able to wipe the slate clean and start on the journey to good health again.

    The psychiatrist didn’t ‘offer’ the solutions; he simply helped me find my own.

    You have to know, medication and counselling is not a quick fix, it can be a long journey, so you should be prepared for that.

    I am still on the medication a year down the road, but I am well, I go out alone, sometimes I get a ‘wobbly’, but I am better.

    Keep strong, you will get there in the end.
     

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