1. sarah85

    sarah85 Registered User

    Sep 29, 2006
    4
    I never thought i would be on this site writing about the loss of someone so dear to me. I lost my nanny only a week ago. She was 82 and had suffered with this awful disease for almost 11 years. Although she had been totally stripped of her personality she still managed to maintain her dignity, right to the end.

    I am 21 yrs old and have always been close to my nan, she looked after me as a child and was a fantastic nan, mother, aunt and wife.

    She first began showing signs of alzheimers a long time ago when she began forgetting things like the number bus that took her to her daughters house. On one occassion she walked for 5 miles on foot to get there as she couldnt remember the number bus she needed. Occassions such as this became more regular as time went on and she became worse and worse, forgetting who her sons and daughter were. My grandfather acted as her career, of which he did a great job as he managed to maintain her well being for such a long time.

    The end to my nans life was a tragic time that was full of ups and downs. We went on holiday as we did every year, all 14 of us including my nan and grandad. On the second day of our holiday my nan tripped over a step and broke her hip and arm. She had an operation for a hip replacememt that went well and all seemed okay. She was full of life and never stopped singing the whole time she was in hospital. She loved songs as she found it hard to hold a conversation she just sang all the time (i loved her songs). She was transferred to hospital here and soon stopped eating as nurses refused to feed her. We did all we could and i along with other family members managed to get her to eat small amounts everyday. I found it hard to feed her as she never wanted to stop singing to eat. The last few days of her life she was totally out of character, shed stopped singing and had kept her eyes closed for almost 3 whole days till it came to the time she passed away. To this day i still cant understand how she went from being so active to almost being comatosed.

    She will be very sadly missed, im glad that she isnt suffering anymore however I would give anything to be with her again and to hear her happy songs once more. I understand everyone on this site is or has been through something similar but ive never known pain like this. I keep it locked in mostly as im the sensitive but strong one of the family.

    I want to thank my grandad for the fantastic job he did of caring for my nan and I also want to share my thanks to all other careers out there as those you look after need desperiatly need your help.
     
  2. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    1,656
    Sheffield
    Hi Sarah
    I'm so sorry to hear how you're suffering at the moment...you're bound to be hurting right now......i promise it gets easier to manage......
    take care,love, your nannys free from pain and suffering and I'm sure she's watchimg over you.....
    Keep in touch....you'll meet some lovely people here
    love
    Wendy
    xx
     
  3. alex

    alex Registered User

    Apr 10, 2006
    1,665
    Hi Sarah

    Welcome to TP..........i'm sorry to hear of the pain you are in at the moment.........it does take time to get over the loss of someone you care about so much, but there are people here who would like to help you through the tough times.

    There is also a new section now for people dealing with loss and you might also find that helpful.

    I do hope your pain eases a little, take care.

    Love Alex x
     
  4. sarah85

    sarah85 Registered User

    Sep 29, 2006
    4
    Dear Wendy, thank you for your kind words. Ive always found it hard to open up and express my feelings but at this point in time I feel it helps. I hope to talk to people on this site and maybe find out about fundraising for the charity as it is such a good cause. Thanks again and I hope to keep in touch x
     
  5. sarah85

    sarah85 Registered User

    Sep 29, 2006
    4
    Thank you Alex for your response. It is very refreshing to hear people that are interested in your problem and can relate to your situation. I'm sure I will find this website useful and I hope in time I too can provide some comfort to others that may be grieving for the loss of a loved one. Take care, Sarah x
     
  6. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    1,342
    I am sorry about your nanny, Sarah. Glad she was able to sing, except for the last 3 days.

    Lila
     
  7. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,878
    Kent
    Oh Sarah, your nanny was so lucky to have such a caring granddaughter. I`m sorry you are so sad, but it wouldn`t be natural for you to feel any other way.

    Hearing about your nanny`s love of singing, reminded me of my own grandmother. She used to play the piano for the silent movies. She played totally by ear and was very gifted. She died years ago, aged 93. She was in a nursing home then, but still played the piano. She had had flu, but began to feel better. She got up from bed, played the piano for the other residents, [some had a little dance], had her tea, said she felt ill and then she died.

    She is still missed today as you will miss your nanny, but I hope you get to the stage where you will remember her with pleasure.

    With love, Grannie G
     
  8. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Hi Sarah
    welcome to TP.
    Sorry to hear of your sad loss.
    Please please look after Granddad,he needs you now more than ever.
    I have been caring for my wife now for 11+years and I don't think I could carry on without the support of our (few )good friends,I need support and your grandad needs it more than me at this time.
    Norman
     
  9. sarah85

    sarah85 Registered User

    Sep 29, 2006
    4
    united as one

    Dear Grannie G,
    That is a wonderful story, im sure the residents at the nursing home loved to hear her play.

    Its a comfort to know that my nan had some kind of pleasure in life with her singing, considering the extent of her illness. Im sure this was the same for your grandmother with her piano playing.

    Since she passed my grandad has had lots of support from both family, friends and neighbours and has since returned to work, at the family business, with my father and auntie. He always loved to be active and work was his life, along with his family of course, but there came a time when my nan was unable to be left at home on her own. My grandad therefore left work to care for her full time, three years ago. Its nice to see him getting on with his life at the grand old age of 82 however this week is going to be hard once again as his 60th wedding anniversy is on the 11th oct.

    We are close knit family and I am extremely proud of my grandad and the courage he has shown throughout this whole experience. I will forever remember my nan and her songs as I'm sure you remember the tunes your grandmother played on her piano. It just seems that no matter how often you say i love you, you can never say it enough. I just hope my nan knew how much I loved her, I make sure I tell her everyday just as I did when she was alive.

    For now my prayers are with those suffering similar problems and also for those who have lost their loved ones.

    Thank you for your message, it means a lot.

    Take care, love Sarah
     
  10. Kathleen

    Kathleen Registered User

    Mar 12, 2005
    639
    West Sussex
    Sarah


    Don't ever doubt the love you shared with your Nanny.

    My Dad died very suddenly 2 years ago when our youngest was only 5 years old, so the actual memories of him are few, but as we talk about him a lot, he is still alive in her memory.

    A few days ago, my sister found a photograph of Dad holding her in his arms when she was just over a year old. It is a side view of them they smiling and laughing, each looking into the others eyes. Our youngest daughter looked at it and said so happily "look, you can see the love pouring out of Grandad into me."

    I'm absolutely sure that was how you and your Nanny were.

    Hope your Grandad is getting on alright and you are feeling a little better now.

    Kathleen
     
  11. sarah018

    sarah018 Registered User

    Dec 12, 2006
    11
    Leeds
    hi sarah, i got chills when i read your post because my gran died 2 weeks ago in pretty much the same way. She fell in the nursing home and broke her hip and had an operation to have it pined. After the op she never really recovered. She ate and drank tinny amounts to begin with but then stopped completely and spent all day sleeping. Unfortunatley the illness took my grans speach and her dignity and in a way i am glad that her suffering is over, but i feel guilty because i didnt go see her oftern in the nursing home because i really hated seeing her the way she was and i feel even worse because i havent been really upset about her passing away.

    i hope it gets easier!
    love sarah
     
  12. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    1,342
    I am sorry about your gran, Sarah.

    Lila
     

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