Having found it really hard to let go and cry over my own emotional state while currently undergoing chemotherapy, my poor old Mum, who has dementia ("nothing wrong with my memory!"), went into hospital two days ago and is quite seriously ill, so now I really am crying. The care home called me and I went with her in the ambulance. The consultant asked to see me to prepare me for the worst case scenario - she has an infection which could go either way....she is only 81 and never normally ill. She is so confused about being there and why ("I'm not ill, who says I'm ill?") and doesn't want to do what they say ("What's this thing doing in my arm?"). She is missing my stepdad who is stuck in a wheelchair after his stroke and in the home and he is stressing cos he is missing her...I had to get a nurse when I left yesterday to stop her getting out of bed (complete with tubes and drips) and following me. My brother is visiting her today I will visit stepdad later to reassure him again, other brother (step) will visit his Dad tomorrow but I am nearest so it will be me for both of them the rest of the week - I am just so fed up with seeing that bl***y hospital! On the practical side, we have to work out how to get him over to see her if things get worse. So much to think about. I am so scared and fed up with my whole life at the moment! I really don't want any of this to be happening. I always find myself going back to that John Lennon qoute "Life is what happens, when you're busy making other plans" which he put in one of his songs for his son shortly before he got shot and died. Thanks for listening.