Dear All
Well,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I do have to tell you that today I laughed 'til I cried. Never use fabric conditioner on your stay-ups is my advice.
There I was traipsing around, woman on a mission no mistake, to replace the banjoed tree stand I'd managed to fracture, decorating said tree. Partner up to his neck in important businessey things, the way men are at these times (yes, I know, earning the much appreciated wherewithall to provide for such doo dads) said he would do what he could do, but what he could do involved Araldite and a jubliee clip and 12 hours of engineering. I wanted it NOW. (the way we women are at these times) Like NOW! As you do. Planning mode! So, I said, leave it to me. After all, at this time of year there has to be a purveyor of tree stands not involving propping up a 35 ft oak we're only talking 6 of your non-metric feet. Well, he said, I did offer. Don't frass yourself with such fripperies, said I, if necessary I'll buy another tree! That shook the bank manager..........and the partner's suspension! As ever, I digress...........
Dressed in my finery, I set forth in my gorgeous boots, unfortunately ill-equipped as they are for supermarket floors (no instructions as to how to slip your way across tiles - and for those who know me, tile skating is my forte) I found my stay-ups on a downer. I froze before Mr Muscle, remembering I was British, as said stocking slid as far as its journey would allow, that being the top of aforementioned boot whereat it hesitated as if on a life changing decision and chose the better, to it, of all worlds. It didn't go down into the boot, it chose to decoratively drape itself across the top in a sort of frill.............. There's not an awful lot you can do except look to someone to share the joke.
Fortunately, the lady at the Fag counter who also deals with the greetings cards, knows me well from my crying as I've handed her the various purchases celebrating Mum's birthdays, anniversarys, whatever, after reading the verses and trying to pay in a a sort of shishorhlofhisshiccuppy shoulder wrenching hic to buy on behalf of Dad, too, it's a killer!. Fag and Newspapers Lady has been where we are, you see. Just hands me a tissue now she understands. No fuss, just hands me the tissue like normal service is assumed. Anyway, today after negotiating the PC possibilities of corruption of gift-giving to a member of staff I managed to ensure she received a small gift of a massive bouqet and a tale of my stockings. I don't even know this woman, but through our situation we share our tears. For most of the year, a tacet understanding. I rather like that. And I rather think she is quite extraordinary, whomsoever she is. Anyway we laughed my other stocking off!
As for the tree? It is currently suitably engineered with Araldite, a couple of Jubliee clips and standing, nothing that a couple of miles of ribbon won't cover! What do I know? Never put conditioner in the wash containing your stay ups, particulary if your skirt is shorter than the ground! And always have a tree stand as a spare - they never mention that in all of the glamourous perfect hostess plans, do they?......
..........And that you find compassion and empathy in the most extraordinary places.
Keep smiling and sharing your tears, all of us are loved and love, there's nothing better than that I'm learning.
Chesca