Anger can turn to sadness depression if you don't channel it out , how did I channel it out ? I cry it out I put music on very load and I dance it out on my own when every one was out of the house . or I would scream into a pillow .
I read up about grief . could never of imagine they could be a living grief , they is 5 stages of grief
Now I am at stage 5 , but it still hurts am just learning to live with it now .
but I still miss her , sometime in few moment or even hours she back but they getting shorter as time go on . I keep positive and I keep busy , death come to us all but this torment of emotion I am feeling as I can not put closure on it , how can you put closure on a living death while mum still alive , its mind blowing. so only in my mother death will they be rest for me closure on it. and for my mother I don't know because she think they nothing wrong with her she seem happy in her mind ,
No one can tell you how you should be feeling we are all different, but generally speaking most of us feel anger when this dreadful illnes strikes.
I was angry with the world, angry with Margaret and angry with myself for not coping better.
I channelled most of the anger into chasing up the Social Services and the medical profession in order to get as much help as possible for Margart and myself.
On top of my computer as I type this is a photo of Margaret taken about the time we married 56 years ago. Somewwhere inside the little old lady dozing in the chair in the mext room is the girl in the photo, and somewhere inside your mum is the mum you remember.
I get the very occasional smile and the more frequent grip of her fingers when I hold her hand, and I have learned to treasure these rare moments, amd remember them when things are tough.
I hope it may help you to realize that you are not alone in your feelings and it is not wrong to feel that way.
i have only just joined this forum and i also feel angry about what is happening but i know there is nothing i can do, i love what you said about my mum still being in there some where, i miss the person my mum was and find this new person very hard work but i cope but remember the good things.