1. laineyb

    laineyb Registered User

    Feb 3, 2009
    49
    northamptonshire
    Hi all,
    Mum is on eol, Thursday last week she had a seizure(myoclonic) she was fine til sat then she went rapidly doenhill, she lost the ability to swallow and has been asleep since then, so she is not eating or drinking, I have been visiting every day since, she has a chest infection nearing pneumonia and has secretions which sound like she snoring, they (she in a care home) are being brilliant and really care for my mum but am finding it really difficult seeing her like this, I am youngest of 4 girls with a young family (I'm not the youngest of mums) and the only one visiting/spending time with mum, feel so sad and just want her how she was a week ago as she normally bounces back from everything but then I don't want her to suffer anymore, didn't think it would be this hard, sorry for my rambling, trying to stay strong but so hard to be so.
     
  2. brambles

    brambles Registered User

    Sep 22, 2014
    226
    Female
    NW England
    Hi Lainey,

    So sorry for you and your poor mum, going through such a difficult time. It must be so difficult seeing her so poorly.
    Wishing you strength and sending a big hug.

    Brambles x
     
  3. laineyb

    laineyb Registered User

    Feb 3, 2009
    49
    northamptonshire
    Thank you brambles, am just about to leave for my daily 60 mile journey to go and sit with mum, it is so hard seeing her deteriorate like this but plan to be with her until the end x
     
  4. jeany123

    jeany123 Registered User

    Mar 24, 2012
    19,049
    Durham
    So sorry to hear about your mum, I hope that it is a peaceful time, thinking of you both xx
     
  5. Laine5

    Laine5 Registered User

    Jun 15, 2013
    44
    stay strong

    So sorry to hear that you are going through this too. Try to stay strong for your Mum.
    Hopefully they will have her comfortable and pain free. My Mum died yesterday and their is nothing easy about any of this, I wish you all the strength to get through.
    Thinking of you both xx
     
  6. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    7,963
    North East England
    Sit, talk, stroke, remember....and smile for the good times that happened.

    We are here if you need our support. Love Maureen.x.
     
  7. Benrese

    Benrese Registered User

    Apr 12, 2014
    186
    Lancashire
    Bless, it must be such a difficult time. As others have said, all you can do...is just be there and be you. That's everything, it really is. We are in your pocket, as the saying goes, only a message away. Hang in there and do take good care of you!
     
  8. angecmc

    angecmc Registered User

    Dec 25, 2012
    2,109
    hertfordshire
    Thinking of you, wishing you strength xx

    Ange
     
  9. MeganCat

    MeganCat Registered User

    Jan 29, 2013
    356
    South Wales
    I'm in a similar position but fortunately living close to the hospital- I can't imagine the extra pressure having significant travelling time must add. Stay strong, I'm glad your mum is being cared for so well. Sending you a virtual hug. X
     
  10. laineyb

    laineyb Registered User

    Feb 3, 2009
    49
    northamptonshire
    Thanx Megan cat, I am back home (my daughter has had sick bug) after spending the night with my mum, she's still hanging in there, have had loads of deep and meaningfuls with her which has been lovely, telling funny stories about my mum and me to care staff, a few tears too, I just hope she's not hurting much.
    Laineyb x
     
  11. laineyb

    laineyb Registered User

    Feb 3, 2009
    49
    northamptonshire
    #sadtimes

    Mum passed yesterday morning, I had a lovely visit with her, I read to her from the current novel I'm reading (we've both always be prolific readers, she always read romance/mills & boon, I've always read detective novels) told her I was ok and that I love her, I'd just about convinced myself that they had got it wrong as shed hung in for 9 days, her breathing was really even and she was peaceful and not in pain which is all I can ask, my daughter (aged 10)said a beautiful thing yesterday that she was sad because I was upset over granny but the good thing is granny can play bingo all day in heaven. I think mum waited until she knew I would safely be home and I take comfort that I chose a really good care home for her as she couldn't have had nicer more dedicated people looking after her xxx
    Rip mummy x
     
  12. Caroleca

    Caroleca Registered User

    Jan 11, 2014
    332
    Ontario canada
    Oh Lainey's, so sorry to hear...it sounds like you had a wonderful sending off for your mom. So sorry for your loss. It is good to hear that you were pleased with the care home...often people are so reluctant to consider a care home. I'm glad yours was a good experience for your dear mom. My mom is in a care home and I often feel so torn...but I know she is being well looked after. Your daughter sounds just darling.

    Take good care of yourself in the days ahead...I will be thinking of you.
    Carole
     
  13. jeany123

    jeany123 Registered User

    Mar 24, 2012
    19,049
    Durham
    Sorry to hear about your mum, she is at peace, please accept my sympathy ,


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  14. brambles

    brambles Registered User

    Sep 22, 2014
    226
    Female
    NW England
    Dear Lainey,

    I am so sorry to read your sad news. Glad that you had a last lovely visit with your mum and that she was so well cared for.

    love brambles x
     
  15. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    58,720
    Female
    Dundee
    I'm so sorry to read your sad news. What a lovely last visit you had with her.
     
  16. Pickles53

    Pickles53 Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    2,482
    Radcliffe on Trent
    Sending my sympathy to you and your family.
     
  17. laineyb

    laineyb Registered User

    Feb 3, 2009
    49
    northamptonshire
    Thank you

    Thank you all for your lovely thoughts, it's been a hard week for me, even though I'm 50 I feel like a little lost girl, missing mum so much but know she's now at peace x
    Lainey
     
  18. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,678
    Kent
    I`m so sorry for your loss.
     
  19. sleepless

    sleepless Registered User

    Feb 19, 2010
    3,232
    Female
    The Sweet North
    Sending my sincere condolences, and wishing you strength and comfort for the days and weeks to come.
    Your mum is blessed to have you as her daughter.
     

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