• We're currently experiencing technical issues with our newsletter software, so our Dementia Talking Point monthly updates have been put on hold for now. We hope to restart the newsletter soon.

    Find out more >here<.

My mum

laineyb

Registered User
Feb 3, 2009
49
northamptonshire
Hi all,
Mum is on eol, Thursday last week she had a seizure(myoclonic) she was fine til sat then she went rapidly doenhill, she lost the ability to swallow and has been asleep since then, so she is not eating or drinking, I have been visiting every day since, she has a chest infection nearing pneumonia and has secretions which sound like she snoring, they (she in a care home) are being brilliant and really care for my mum but am finding it really difficult seeing her like this, I am youngest of 4 girls with a young family (I'm not the youngest of mums) and the only one visiting/spending time with mum, feel so sad and just want her how she was a week ago as she normally bounces back from everything but then I don't want her to suffer anymore, didn't think it would be this hard, sorry for my rambling, trying to stay strong but so hard to be so.
 

brambles

Registered User
Sep 22, 2014
243
NW England
Hi Lainey,

So sorry for you and your poor mum, going through such a difficult time. It must be so difficult seeing her so poorly.
Wishing you strength and sending a big hug.

Brambles x
 

laineyb

Registered User
Feb 3, 2009
49
northamptonshire
Thank you brambles, am just about to leave for my daily 60 mile journey to go and sit with mum, it is so hard seeing her deteriorate like this but plan to be with her until the end x
 

Laine5

Registered User
Jun 15, 2013
44
stay strong

So sorry to hear that you are going through this too. Try to stay strong for your Mum.
Hopefully they will have her comfortable and pain free. My Mum died yesterday and their is nothing easy about any of this, I wish you all the strength to get through.
Thinking of you both xx
 

Benrese

Registered User
Apr 12, 2014
185
Lancashire
Bless, it must be such a difficult time. As others have said, all you can do...is just be there and be you. That's everything, it really is. We are in your pocket, as the saying goes, only a message away. Hang in there and do take good care of you!
 

MeganCat

Registered User
Jan 29, 2013
356
South Wales
I'm in a similar position but fortunately living close to the hospital- I can't imagine the extra pressure having significant travelling time must add. Stay strong, I'm glad your mum is being cared for so well. Sending you a virtual hug. X
 

laineyb

Registered User
Feb 3, 2009
49
northamptonshire
Thanx Megan cat, I am back home (my daughter has had sick bug) after spending the night with my mum, she's still hanging in there, have had loads of deep and meaningfuls with her which has been lovely, telling funny stories about my mum and me to care staff, a few tears too, I just hope she's not hurting much.
Laineyb x
 

laineyb

Registered User
Feb 3, 2009
49
northamptonshire
#sadtimes

Mum passed yesterday morning, I had a lovely visit with her, I read to her from the current novel I'm reading (we've both always be prolific readers, she always read romance/mills & boon, I've always read detective novels) told her I was ok and that I love her, I'd just about convinced myself that they had got it wrong as shed hung in for 9 days, her breathing was really even and she was peaceful and not in pain which is all I can ask, my daughter (aged 10)said a beautiful thing yesterday that she was sad because I was upset over granny but the good thing is granny can play bingo all day in heaven. I think mum waited until she knew I would safely be home and I take comfort that I chose a really good care home for her as she couldn't have had nicer more dedicated people looking after her xxx
Rip mummy x
 

Caroleca

Registered User
Jan 11, 2014
331
Ontario canada
Oh Lainey's, so sorry to hear...it sounds like you had a wonderful sending off for your mom. So sorry for your loss. It is good to hear that you were pleased with the care home...often people are so reluctant to consider a care home. I'm glad yours was a good experience for your dear mom. My mom is in a care home and I often feel so torn...but I know she is being well looked after. Your daughter sounds just darling.

Take good care of yourself in the days ahead...I will be thinking of you.
Carole
 

jeany123

Registered User
Mar 24, 2012
19,036
71
Durham
Sorry to hear about your mum, she is at peace, please accept my sympathy ,


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
 

brambles

Registered User
Sep 22, 2014
243
NW England
Dear Lainey,

I am so sorry to read your sad news. Glad that you had a last lovely visit with your mum and that she was so well cared for.

love brambles x
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
62,386
69
Dundee
I'm so sorry to read your sad news. What a lovely last visit you had with her.
 

laineyb

Registered User
Feb 3, 2009
49
northamptonshire
Thank you

Thank you all for your lovely thoughts, it's been a hard week for me, even though I'm 50 I feel like a little lost girl, missing mum so much but know she's now at peace x
Lainey