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My mum


Registered User
Oct 5, 2006
My mum was diagnosed with alzheimers at the age of 53 at that time i was only 15. It was hard for me to come to terms with what was happening to my mum She was so young and happy i didnt understand. Things have slowly declined and we couldnt take care of her any more. Shes in a home now its a lovly place and i see her as often as i can. She has been having a lot of fits lately and i was wondering if this is normal ?? She recognises me still and im greatful for that . Its so hard because ive had to grow up so fast. But she looked after me all my life and now its mine turn to look after her.:) The hardest thing was not being able to have her at my wedding because i live in southport and mums just outside Fleetwood and she doesnt travel well since she got ill .


Registered User
Apr 29, 2005
Hi Peta
It's such a shame you've had to spend most of your teens living with this awful disease. I'm glad you've found a nice home for your mum. My partner has AD and started having fits about 3 months ago - I don't think it's "normal", but it seems to be a fairly common symptom. She hasn't had any more fits since she was prescribed anti-epileptic medication. Has anyone offered medication for your mum?


Registered User
Oct 6, 2006
Hi Peta,

Glad you are happy with the home your mum is in, it makes such a difference.

I don't know anything about the fits I'm afraid, have medical staff been investigating them and looking into medication?

It sounds like you have been a great daughter and been a wonderful support to your mum, especially with looking after her at home for as long as you could. I bet if she had been able to come to your wedding and understand it she would have been the proudest mum in the world.

Take care, sarah x


Registered User
Oct 13, 2006
can you help me?

I know exsactly how you are feeling my mum has been suffering for fair few years now and im 18 now! I am finding it so hard to cope with and was wondering if you had any advice on how to cope at this age and where to go for advice! no one knows what i am going through and i can't stop worrying everyday!
As we both know it is breaking our hearts to see our mum's like this but all i need is that extra support!

Take care


Registered User
Apr 10, 2006
Hi peta and Lauren

I'm sorry to hear of your dilemma.............. its a tough thing to have to go through at any age, but tougher still when your so young! My heart goes out to you both!

The only advice i can give would be to take things one day at a time........ don't look too far ahead and make the most of the good times you still have with your mum.

If your looking for support, there is no better place than tp, even if we can't help, we're here to listen, sometimes its good to just get your worries and concerns out.

If you still find it difficult to cope, then maybe you can talk to counsellors, as i say, it sometimes makes all the difference just to be able to talk to someone who's not as involved as your family and friends.

Remember that your both doing great to have coped this far and i hope you find the strength to keep up the good work, i'm sure any parent would be proud of you both!

Sending you both a hug!
Love Alex


Registered User
Oct 5, 2006
Thank you

Thank you all so much for you kind words and support. Lauren, i dont know how i coped i dont really think i did, i still sit on my own sometimes and have a good cry when i think about things. I just look at having as much fun as i can with ny mum when i see her, i do her hair, paint her nails and shes got loads of photos and things from home. Try talking about it to some one. I found it alot easier to talk to someone that was outside the family and it felt so good to tell some one how i was really feeling. And you can always talk to me ill try to share my experiances with you if you would like take care and i send you a big hug love peta xx:)


Registered User
Oct 21, 2006
Hello, this is my first time on TP so im not sure if im doing it right but I have just read your messages and all I know is that it really helps to know others are feeling the same. Im 25yrs old and my mum has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimers (aged 61) after months of worry and concern on our part whereby we knew something was wrong but weren't getting any answers. Having previously wished for some answers, when the diagnosis was finally made it still came as a huge shock from which we are all still reeling. It just seems so unfair. Reading all your messages and seing how strong and caring people are is truly heartwarming. I can't see that I am ever going to get over this but from what others are saying it is a case of enjoying the time that you have and trying not to dwell too much on the future. I suppose thats a message for life in general because we never know what is around the corner. I just feel s though we have all been cheated. Im single at the moment and am finding it so difficult being on my own because I don't know about others but I find nighttimes the hardest. My friends have been fantastic and have really been there for me but as much as they try they don't really know what its like and they can still ring their mums and carry on as usual. But its during the night when I can't sleep that I feel so alone and my mind starts racing. I keep thinking that when i do finally meet that special person my mum won't ever really know them, not as she was, and they won't ever get to meet my mum - my real mum - they will only ever know her as she is now and in the furture. Anyway I feel as though ive waffled a bit and not really sure if im posting this in the right place or doing it right but all i know is that im grateful i have found somewhere where people understand what its really like watching a loved one go through this cruel disease. My heart goes out to you all and I wish you the very best - im thinking of you x x x x


Registered User
Nov 30, 2005
I'm also 25 and my Dad is 64. I know what you mean about friends not understanding. The other day I was talking to one of my friends about Dad when she compared the situation to her own Dad who has bad arthritis and is getting to the stage where he can't walk and the family have to do a lot for him. And she said to me whats worst? - mental deterioation or physical. She seemed to be putting them on the same sort of par. I just wanted to scream!! I just wanted to shout and say for gods sake at least you can have a conversatioin with your dad, at least he can watch you develop, get married, have kids etc and know whats going on. At least you can talk to him on an emotional level. At least he can acknowledge that your doing well in life. I've lost all those chances and I've pretty much lost my dad and to top it off I have to watch him lose his own dignity. So yea, its very hard for young sons&daughters. I would do anything to swap places with my friend...
I meant to reply about the fits and got side-tracked! My dad recently had 2 fits 10 days apart. They have prescribed anti-eplieptic drugs (though without actually doing any tests for epilepsy, long story) and although his fits seem to have stopped they've brought on a whole new level to the dementia with different symptoms that we're all having to adjust to. God knows what stage he's meant to be at now.
Day by day..day by day


Registered User
Oct 1, 2006
hello, i am new to this site and am not used to talking about my Mums illness.

my mum has been ill for about nine years but started with fits about three years ago. They gave my dad some medication to give mum but this is only to be given during a fit, through her back passage, as the Doctors said that any other medication could interfere with her dementia medication. After reading this it seems wrong. I, my brother and sisters always worry in case she has a fit while in our care, as we don't know how to adminster this. My dad has asked about other methods but not got anywhere. Does anyone know what else can be prescribed? My Mum is on Aricept for her dementia.

Thanks for listening


Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Hi Vicky, It`s so hard on such young people to have the worry of seriously ill parents. My heart goes out to you.

My neighbour has a granddaughter who`s Epileptic. When she has a fit, her medication has to be administered in the same way as your mum`s, through the back passage.

If you don`t understand, why don`t you try to see your mum`s GP. Ask him/her what you need to know and it may help to ease your mind.

Take care, Sylvia


Registered User
Oct 21, 2006
Hi Vicky

Welcome to TP. I just wanted to say that I can completely relate to your difficultites in talking about your mothers condition. It is so hard to express our thoughts and feelings to others but thats why I find TP so beneficial because it allows me to write down exactly how i am feeling knowing that there are others out there who understand those feelings and relate to them. I am sorry to hear of your mothers illness. As far as I am aware my mum is on antieplileptic medication but is also taking Aricept. It is not for me to say if your mum could take it too, the doctors would need to assess your mum and make a medical decision as to whether she could take them but itwould be good for you to attend her next appointment if possible so that you can ask the doctors to explain their decisions to you. As for the medication to be administered rectally if your mum does have a fit - if you are at all worried about this please contact your GP or local health visitor who will be able to talk you and your family through exactly what to do if this were to happen. I am thinking of you and your family and sending you my very best wishes. I hope you find TP as useful as I and many do x x x


Registered User
Nov 24, 2006
Hi Peta my mum was diagnosed with alzheimers in her early 50's also, she is now almost 67 and has just recently entered into a nursing home because my dad was unable to look after her any longer himself. Mum has never had any fits to date but she doesn't seem to recognize me. When mum was first diagnosed I went to the Alzheimers assoc and spoke with a lovely lady there. I still find to very hard to accept and to talk about. Take care Ann
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Registered User
Apr 30, 2006
You know ....reading all these posts put my own problems into prespective....I'm 49 and find this awful disease very hard to cope with but I have a family of my own to keep me going! My heart goes out to all you younger members ...it must be so very hard for you all
take care all.....this is a great place to let your emotions out....
love xx


Registered User
Nov 27, 2006
Gateshead, Newcastle

I suppose all us young people are in the same boat the moment and its hard to get out of it, it breaks up families - brings them closer together.

The worst thing is to feel down when the person with the diease will not know what is going on and will be trying to make the mos t of things

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