As you may have seen from earlier postings, mum is showing all the signs and symptoms of AD but as yet we have not had any kind of formal diagnosis. We have had involvement from Social Services and intermediary care coming in at lunchtimes only for the past 5 weeks and recently had a '5 week' review which was attended by one of the carers, her supervisor and a Social Worker. My sister and myself were also present.
The social worker started by asking mum some simple questions i.e. what do you make for your breakfast? etc, but because mum cannot remember some words or names of things I could see her start to get anxious, which made her worse, and she was looking at me for support and assistance. I wanted her to answer for herself and did no know if I should answer for her or not. I felt really bad, as she looked so lost!, then, because I think she felt cornered and frightened (it later transpired that she thought they had come to take her to a home!) she started shouting at me, saying I had set this up and I had arranged for this all to happen and I was trying to get her put away, and that she was allright and could look after herself.
My sister decided to take her for a walk to get her a way from the situation, and the social worker thought this was a good idea, as it was not a good idea to talk whilst she was around.
The social worker then said it was obvious mum was in the advanced stages of dementia ( I don't know whether to be shocked or not at this sudden diagnosis) Mum is still waiting on a physiactric assessment. Reading posts here, it would seem mum has a lot of the signs, but she is at home alone, she forgets to eat all meals other thanbreakfast which she does herself. We have had a couple of incidents where she has left the cooker on but now she only seems to use it at breakfast time and it is allways turned off when my sister gets there about 9.30 am.
She is confused, she does have delusions and thinks there is someone else in her house at night time, but she seems quite accepting of the fact and says if they don't bother her she won't bother them!! originally when these people came on the scene she was frightened and bolted to my house in the middle of the night on a couple of occasions, but now stays at home on her own at night time, and someone goes in last thing to spend some time with her before she goes to bed.
She cannot remember names, how to turn the TV on, but can turn it off. sometimes can make a cup of tea but sometimes forgets to put the tea bag in it.
Thinks I steal everything from her from money to ornaments to clothes and bedding and knives and forks (she puts everything in the bin) One night we called and she had her bed half way out of the house trying to bin it.
She won't sleep in her bed, she sleeps ont he settee, but many a time says she fancies a new bed (she has had 4 new beds since dad died 5 years ago and has not slept in any of them). She says she sleeps upstairs and the "people who vist her in the night" are downstairs (she lives in a bunglaow)
But generall,y she is ticking over at home, but only because her family are doing most of the looking after her, even though most of us work full time.
I am sorry to be long winded about all this, but the question I want to ask is, are we being realistic to think we can carry on mostly on our own, or would it be more realistic to take each day as it comes and cross bridges when we come to them so to speak? (sorry if I am not making sense, it is hard to put into words sometimes) The thing is mum would be so upset if we put her into any kind of home, respite care , or day centre as she does not feel she needs any of this as there is nothing wrong with her. Has anyone else had this problem, as I would feel if we did any of these things we would be letting her down, as it would be her worst nightmare coming true.
I would be grateful for any responses, Cheers Maggie
The social worker started by asking mum some simple questions i.e. what do you make for your breakfast? etc, but because mum cannot remember some words or names of things I could see her start to get anxious, which made her worse, and she was looking at me for support and assistance. I wanted her to answer for herself and did no know if I should answer for her or not. I felt really bad, as she looked so lost!, then, because I think she felt cornered and frightened (it later transpired that she thought they had come to take her to a home!) she started shouting at me, saying I had set this up and I had arranged for this all to happen and I was trying to get her put away, and that she was allright and could look after herself.
My sister decided to take her for a walk to get her a way from the situation, and the social worker thought this was a good idea, as it was not a good idea to talk whilst she was around.
The social worker then said it was obvious mum was in the advanced stages of dementia ( I don't know whether to be shocked or not at this sudden diagnosis) Mum is still waiting on a physiactric assessment. Reading posts here, it would seem mum has a lot of the signs, but she is at home alone, she forgets to eat all meals other thanbreakfast which she does herself. We have had a couple of incidents where she has left the cooker on but now she only seems to use it at breakfast time and it is allways turned off when my sister gets there about 9.30 am.
She is confused, she does have delusions and thinks there is someone else in her house at night time, but she seems quite accepting of the fact and says if they don't bother her she won't bother them!! originally when these people came on the scene she was frightened and bolted to my house in the middle of the night on a couple of occasions, but now stays at home on her own at night time, and someone goes in last thing to spend some time with her before she goes to bed.
She cannot remember names, how to turn the TV on, but can turn it off. sometimes can make a cup of tea but sometimes forgets to put the tea bag in it.
Thinks I steal everything from her from money to ornaments to clothes and bedding and knives and forks (she puts everything in the bin) One night we called and she had her bed half way out of the house trying to bin it.
She won't sleep in her bed, she sleeps ont he settee, but many a time says she fancies a new bed (she has had 4 new beds since dad died 5 years ago and has not slept in any of them). She says she sleeps upstairs and the "people who vist her in the night" are downstairs (she lives in a bunglaow)
But generall,y she is ticking over at home, but only because her family are doing most of the looking after her, even though most of us work full time.
I am sorry to be long winded about all this, but the question I want to ask is, are we being realistic to think we can carry on mostly on our own, or would it be more realistic to take each day as it comes and cross bridges when we come to them so to speak? (sorry if I am not making sense, it is hard to put into words sometimes) The thing is mum would be so upset if we put her into any kind of home, respite care , or day centre as she does not feel she needs any of this as there is nothing wrong with her. Has anyone else had this problem, as I would feel if we did any of these things we would be letting her down, as it would be her worst nightmare coming true.
I would be grateful for any responses, Cheers Maggie